2012-05-09
Original: 2012-05-09 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Police officer: YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR SMOKING MARIJUANA.
Panel 2:
Woman: OH, IT'S OKAY. THE CONSCIOUS PART OF MY BRAIN ISN'T DIRECTLY EXPERIENCING THE ACTIVE INGREDIENTS.
Panel 3:
Woman: THE CANNABINOIDS ARE JUST TRIGGERING CELL RECEPTORS THAT RELEASE CHEMICALS MY CONSCIOUS MIND THEN ENJOYS.
Panel 4:
Woman: STRICTLY SPEAKING, YOU OUGHT TO PROSECUTE MY HANDS FOR TRANSPORTING ILLICIT GOODS, MY LUNGS FOR SMUGGLING THEM INTO MY BODY, AND MY CANNABINOID RECEPTORS FOR ACTUALLY TAKING THE DRUGS.
Panel 5:
Woman: MY FRONTAL LOBE, WHICH YOU'RE CURRENTLY SPEAKING TO, MAY HAVE MADE SOME SUGGESTIONS TO THE OTHER ACTORS, BUT THEY WERE THE ONES WHO DID THE DEED. ARRESTING MY EGO WOULD BE LIKE ARRESTING SOMEONE FOR WALKING INTO A ROOM FILLED WITH POT SMOKE.
Panel 6:
Police officer (now handcuffing the woman): DON'T GET MAD AT ME. MY HANDS ARE JUST OBEYING THE FRONTAL LOBES IN CONGRESS.
Woman: HEY!
Woman: I HATE THOSE FRONTAL LOBES!
Votey:
A person slumped at a desk says: JESUS... I NEED TO DO MORE PENIS JOKES.
Police officer: YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR SMOKING MARIJUANA.
Panel 2:
Woman: OH, IT'S OKAY. THE CONSCIOUS PART OF MY BRAIN ISN'T DIRECTLY EXPERIENCING THE ACTIVE INGREDIENTS.
Panel 3:
Woman: THE CANNABINOIDS ARE JUST TRIGGERING CELL RECEPTORS THAT RELEASE CHEMICALS MY CONSCIOUS MIND THEN ENJOYS.
Panel 4:
Woman: STRICTLY SPEAKING, YOU OUGHT TO PROSECUTE MY HANDS FOR TRANSPORTING ILLICIT GOODS, MY LUNGS FOR SMUGGLING THEM INTO MY BODY, AND MY CANNABINOID RECEPTORS FOR ACTUALLY TAKING THE DRUGS.
Panel 5:
Woman: MY FRONTAL LOBE, WHICH YOU'RE CURRENTLY SPEAKING TO, MAY HAVE MADE SOME SUGGESTIONS TO THE OTHER ACTORS, BUT THEY WERE THE ONES WHO DID THE DEED. ARRESTING MY EGO WOULD BE LIKE ARRESTING SOMEONE FOR WALKING INTO A ROOM FILLED WITH POT SMOKE.
Panel 6:
Police officer (now handcuffing the woman): DON'T GET MAD AT ME. MY HANDS ARE JUST OBEYING THE FRONTAL LOBES IN CONGRESS.
Woman: HEY!
Woman: I HATE THOSE FRONTAL LOBES!
Votey:
A person slumped at a desk says: JESUS... I NEED TO DO MORE PENIS JOKES.
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A police officer tells a woman, "You're under arrest for smoking marijuana." She calmly argues that the conscious part of her brain isn't directly experiencing the drug; the cannabinoids merely trigger cell receptors that release chemicals her conscious mind then enjoys. She says the officer ought instead to prosecute her hands for transporting the illicit goods, her lungs for smuggling them into her body, and her cannabinoid receptors for actually taking the drugs. Her frontal lobe, she explains, only made suggestions to the other actors who did the deed, so arresting her ego would be like arresting someone for walking into a smoke-filled room. In the final panel the officer handcuffs her anyway, saying, "Don't get mad at me. My hands are just obeying the frontal lobes in Congress." She protests, "Hey! I hate those frontal lobes!" Votey: a person slumped over a desk groans, "Jesus... I need to do more penis jokes," the cartoonist lamenting having written such a cerebral strip.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.