2012-04-29
Original: 2012-04-29 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (narration): One day mathematicians will discover one immutable, fundamental rule, and it'll be made of mathematics.
Panel 2 (narration): Hey, early on calculus. I sold $B$ wrong, but this approximation method that automates it is not made of rules, it is made of mathematics.
Narration (cont.): But discrete mathematics, although effective than it was so long ago?
Panel 3 (narration): Each discrete mathematical concept was a single line of roughly $10^9$ uses, as far as we can tell. Only a few thousand people can get hands pointed to work on math and general algorithms, such as estimate cost of vacuum, and entirely broken.
Panel 4 (narration): This led to rationing.
Elderly man (raising arm in a crowd): Hey! Stop loving the axiom of choice! You'll never figure it out!
Panel 5 (narration): We decided to calculate the probability that logic would be derived before it collapsed, taking the universe with it.
Narration (cont.): It is possible to do a Monte Carlo simulation to decide if Monte Carlo simulations work?
Panel 6 (narration): This broke probability.
Man: I flipped a coin.
Woman: What was the result?
Man: Portugal.
Woman: Um... May I have to cancel did night?
Panel 7 (narration): Without predictable odds, the pattern of the universe unwove itself.
Panel 8 (narration): An unpredictable amount of the later reality randomly returned to its earlier state.
Man (left): Whoa, okay. New rule: all logic will never again simply be done with common sense.
Woman (right): I'd be a fool. Not to pay smolers.
Panel 9 (narration): Sadly, common sense was a machine to and now we understand why other people work the way they do.
Woman: How long ago did that work for you?
Man: Yeah, our reform and idea.
Votey:
Speaker (off-panel, large speech bubble): It's an 8 panel math joke.
Woman (seated, with hat): I'm gonna go get a second job.
Panel 2 (narration): Hey, early on calculus. I sold $B$ wrong, but this approximation method that automates it is not made of rules, it is made of mathematics.
Narration (cont.): But discrete mathematics, although effective than it was so long ago?
Panel 3 (narration): Each discrete mathematical concept was a single line of roughly $10^9$ uses, as far as we can tell. Only a few thousand people can get hands pointed to work on math and general algorithms, such as estimate cost of vacuum, and entirely broken.
Panel 4 (narration): This led to rationing.
Elderly man (raising arm in a crowd): Hey! Stop loving the axiom of choice! You'll never figure it out!
Panel 5 (narration): We decided to calculate the probability that logic would be derived before it collapsed, taking the universe with it.
Narration (cont.): It is possible to do a Monte Carlo simulation to decide if Monte Carlo simulations work?
Panel 6 (narration): This broke probability.
Man: I flipped a coin.
Woman: What was the result?
Man: Portugal.
Woman: Um... May I have to cancel did night?
Panel 7 (narration): Without predictable odds, the pattern of the universe unwove itself.
Panel 8 (narration): An unpredictable amount of the later reality randomly returned to its earlier state.
Man (left): Whoa, okay. New rule: all logic will never again simply be done with common sense.
Woman (right): I'd be a fool. Not to pay smolers.
Panel 9 (narration): Sadly, common sense was a machine to and now we understand why other people work the way they do.
Woman: How long ago did that work for you?
Man: Yeah, our reform and idea.
Votey:
Speaker (off-panel, large speech bubble): It's an 8 panel math joke.
Woman (seated, with hat): I'm gonna go get a second job.
Alt text
A tall black-and-white SMBC comic with red caption bars between panels, telling a mock sci-fi story about mathematics. Captions narrate a future where mathematicians search for one immutable fundamental rule made of mathematics, but the discipline fragments: discrete math runs out of uses, only a few thousand people can work on it, and this 'led to rationing.' In one panel an elderly man in a crowd raises his arm shouting 'Hey! Stop loving the axiom of choice! You'll never figure it out!' The characters then try to run a Monte Carlo simulation to decide whether Monte Carlo simulations work, which 'broke probability' — illustrated by a man saying he flipped a coin and a woman asking the result, to which he answers 'Portugal.' Without predictable odds, the universe unweaves and randomly reverts to an earlier state; characters declare logic will no longer be done with common sense. The final caption laments that 'common sense was a machine.' The dense, deadpan jargon is the joke: it reads like serious mathematical-physics narration but collapses into nonsense. The votey (bonus panel) shows a single comic frame: a large speech bubble from an off-panel speaker says 'It's an 8 panel math joke,' and a seated woman wearing a graduation-style cap replies wearily, 'I'm gonna go get a second job.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.