2011-11-01
Original: 2011-11-01 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A mother in a green bathrobe sits on the edge of a young red-haired boy's bed, tucking him in at night. Beneath the bed, a dark figure is crouched, hiding.
Mother: NO MORE PHILOSOPHY BOOKS AFTER FIVE O'CLOCK, OKAY SWEETIE?
Panel 2:
Banner caption: EARLIER...
The parents lie asleep in bed. The boy stands in the doorway, light spilling in from the hall, pointing back toward his room.
Boy: MOM, DAD! THERE'S A MORAL RELATIVIST UNDER MY BED!
Panel 3:
Close-up on the boy's frightened face, biting his fingers.
Boy (caption text, yellow): HE'S CAPABLE OF ANYTHING.
Votey:
The boy lies in bed at night. Two glowing red eyes peer out from the darkness under the bed.
Boy: IT'S WRONG TO SCARE CHILDREN!
Figure under the bed: NOT OBJECTIVELY!
A mother in a green bathrobe sits on the edge of a young red-haired boy's bed, tucking him in at night. Beneath the bed, a dark figure is crouched, hiding.
Mother: NO MORE PHILOSOPHY BOOKS AFTER FIVE O'CLOCK, OKAY SWEETIE?
Panel 2:
Banner caption: EARLIER...
The parents lie asleep in bed. The boy stands in the doorway, light spilling in from the hall, pointing back toward his room.
Boy: MOM, DAD! THERE'S A MORAL RELATIVIST UNDER MY BED!
Panel 3:
Close-up on the boy's frightened face, biting his fingers.
Boy (caption text, yellow): HE'S CAPABLE OF ANYTHING.
Votey:
The boy lies in bed at night. Two glowing red eyes peer out from the darkness under the bed.
Boy: IT'S WRONG TO SCARE CHILDREN!
Figure under the bed: NOT OBJECTIVELY!
Alt text
A three-panel comic. Panel 1: A mother in a green bathrobe tucks her young red-haired son into bed at night, saying "No more philosophy books after five o'clock, okay sweetie?" A dark figure is hidden crouching under the bed. Panel 2, captioned "Earlier...": The boy stands in his parents' bedroom doorway and shouts to his sleeping parents, "Mom, Dad! There's a moral relativist under my bed!" Panel 3: A close-up of the boy's terrified face as he says, "He's capable of anything." Votey: The boy lies in bed while two glowing red eyes stare out from under it. The boy protests, "It's wrong to scare children!" The under-bed figure replies, "Not objectively!" The joke: the childhood monster under the bed is a moral relativist whose lack of objective morality is what makes him truly frightening.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.