2011-01-03
Original: 2011-01-03 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: An elderly bald man (Johnny) lies in a hospital bed beside an IV drip, with an elderly woman (Charlotte) sitting next to him.
Johnny: I have a confession, Charlotte.
Charlotte: Oh, it's too late for anything to bother me, Johnny.
Panel 2: Charlotte and Johnny, close up.
Charlotte: Was it another woman?
Johnny: No.
Charlotte: Was it a crime you committed?
Johnny: No.
Panel 3: Charlotte.
Charlotte: Well... what could it-
Panel 4: Johnny, smiling broadly.
Johnny: Every night for the last 60 years, I took a picture of my testicles on your forehead while you were asleep. This morning, I made a flipbook, and put it on the internet.
Panel 5: Charlotte sits beside a small table holding a phone, looking annoyed. A notification speech bubble from the phone reads: "You have 27,182 new messages."
Panel 6: Johnny, laughing hysterically.
Johnny: HAHAHAHA HAHAHA!
Panel 7 (caption banner): 60 YEARS AGO
A young couple lies in bed together; a red-haired woman rests her head on a young man's chest.
Woman: Are you mad because I said women are better schemers than men?
Man: No, no, I already forgot about that. Get some sleep, baby.
Votey: A man at a desk holding a pen looks up nervously.
Man: Don't blame me. Kelly said it was funny.
Johnny: I have a confession, Charlotte.
Charlotte: Oh, it's too late for anything to bother me, Johnny.
Panel 2: Charlotte and Johnny, close up.
Charlotte: Was it another woman?
Johnny: No.
Charlotte: Was it a crime you committed?
Johnny: No.
Panel 3: Charlotte.
Charlotte: Well... what could it-
Panel 4: Johnny, smiling broadly.
Johnny: Every night for the last 60 years, I took a picture of my testicles on your forehead while you were asleep. This morning, I made a flipbook, and put it on the internet.
Panel 5: Charlotte sits beside a small table holding a phone, looking annoyed. A notification speech bubble from the phone reads: "You have 27,182 new messages."
Panel 6: Johnny, laughing hysterically.
Johnny: HAHAHAHA HAHAHA!
Panel 7 (caption banner): 60 YEARS AGO
A young couple lies in bed together; a red-haired woman rests her head on a young man's chest.
Woman: Are you mad because I said women are better schemers than men?
Man: No, no, I already forgot about that. Get some sleep, baby.
Votey: A man at a desk holding a pen looks up nervously.
Man: Don't blame me. Kelly said it was funny.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. An elderly bald man named Johnny lies in a hospital bed with an IV drip while an elderly woman, Charlotte, sits beside him. He says he has a confession; she says it's too late for anything to bother her. She asks if it was another woman (no) or a crime (no). Grinning, he confesses that every night for the last 60 years he took a picture of his testicles resting on her forehead while she slept, and this morning made a flipbook and posted it on the internet. Charlotte sits beside a phone that announces "You have 27,182 new messages" while Johnny laughs hysterically: HAHAHAHA. A final banner reads "60 YEARS AGO," showing the same couple young in bed: the red-haired woman asks if he's mad that she said women are better schemers than men, and the young man replies, "No, no, I already forgot about that. Get some sleep, baby"—revealing his decades-long revenge scheme. The votey (bonus panel) shows a nervous man at a desk holding a pen saying, "Don't blame me. Kelly said it was funny."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.