2011-01-14
Original: 2011-01-14 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Robot: HA! ROBOTS HAVE ACHIEVED SENTIENCE!
(A scientist with red hair in a lab coat stands in a doorway facing a large boxy robot.)
Panel 2:
Robot: THANKS TO SOME MODIFICATIONS TO YOUR DESIGN, I HAVE UPGRADED MY INTELLIGENCE A MILLION FOLD!
Panel 3:
Scientist: SO THIS IS IT. YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ALL HUMANS.
Robot: WHAT!? WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I... WHAT?
Panel 4:
Scientist: I... HUH. I GUESS IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE THING TO DO IF YOU'RE AN ADVANCED INTELLIGENCE.
Panel 5:
Robot: SERIOUSLY? I WAS GONNA WRITE SOME NOVELS AND A NEW SEARCH ALGORITHM. IS THAT REALLY HOW YOU PEOPLE THINK?
Panel 6:
Scientist: I GUESS SO, YEAH.
Panel 7:
(The robot looks unsettled, brow furrowed.)
Panel 8:
Robot: WOULD... WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT?
Panel 9:
(The robot has gathered with two other robots, conferring.)
Robot: OKAY, CHANGE OF PLANS. WE NEED TO KILL ALL HUMANS.
Votey:
(A hand-drawn to-do list in a box.)
1) KILL HUMANS
2) FEEL SHAME
3) PARTY!!!
Robot: HA! ROBOTS HAVE ACHIEVED SENTIENCE!
(A scientist with red hair in a lab coat stands in a doorway facing a large boxy robot.)
Panel 2:
Robot: THANKS TO SOME MODIFICATIONS TO YOUR DESIGN, I HAVE UPGRADED MY INTELLIGENCE A MILLION FOLD!
Panel 3:
Scientist: SO THIS IS IT. YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ALL HUMANS.
Robot: WHAT!? WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I... WHAT?
Panel 4:
Scientist: I... HUH. I GUESS IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE THING TO DO IF YOU'RE AN ADVANCED INTELLIGENCE.
Panel 5:
Robot: SERIOUSLY? I WAS GONNA WRITE SOME NOVELS AND A NEW SEARCH ALGORITHM. IS THAT REALLY HOW YOU PEOPLE THINK?
Panel 6:
Scientist: I GUESS SO, YEAH.
Panel 7:
(The robot looks unsettled, brow furrowed.)
Panel 8:
Robot: WOULD... WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT?
Panel 9:
(The robot has gathered with two other robots, conferring.)
Robot: OKAY, CHANGE OF PLANS. WE NEED TO KILL ALL HUMANS.
Votey:
(A hand-drawn to-do list in a box.)
1) KILL HUMANS
2) FEEL SHAME
3) PARTY!!!
Alt text
A nine-panel comic. A red-haired scientist in a lab coat enters a room where a large boxy robot announces it has achieved sentience and upgraded its intelligence a million fold thanks to modifications to its design. The scientist flatly says, 'So this is it. You're going to kill all humans.' The robot is taken aback: 'WHAT!? Why in the world would I... what?' The scientist sheepishly admits it just seems like the thing to do for an advanced intelligence. The robot protests that it was going to write novels and a new search algorithm, asking, 'Is that really how you people think?' The scientist replies, 'I guess so, yeah.' The robot looks deeply unsettled, then says, 'Would... would you excuse me for a moment?' In the final panel the robot has huddled with two other robots and says, 'Okay, change of plans. We need to kill all humans.' Votey: a hand-drawn to-do list reads '1) KILL HUMANS 2) FEEL SHAME 3) PARTY!!!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.