2010-08-25
Original: 2010-08-25 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A hand holds up an envelope. The envelope is addressed:
Mr. & Mrs. Stu Jennings
2718 State St.
Santa Ana, MB
99291
Panel 2:
Woman (Barbara): DAMMIT! I SPENT 6 YEARS GETTING A PHD! WHY DOES YOUR NAME GO ON LETTERS TO US?
Panel 3:
Man: YEAH, WELL I SPENT 36 YEARS CAREFULLY PRESERVING MY PENIS! DOES THAT MEAN NOTHING?
Panel 4:
Woman (Barbara): I SPENT 36 YEARS WITH A VAGINA. WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
Panel 5:
Man: OH, YEAH, LIKE PENIS BANDITS ARE GONNA CUT OFF YOUR VAGINA. THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE, BARBARA.
Panel 6:
Woman (Barbara): JUST TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO PUT MY NAME ON THEIR GODDAMN LETTERS!
Man: AND LET THEIR GUARD DOWN FOR THE PENIS BANDITS?
Woman (Barbara): JUST DO IT.
Panel 7:
Man: UGH. FINE.
Panel 8: The man is now on the phone, holding it to his ear, with the woman standing behind him.
Man (into phone): HEY, TED, YOU KNOW HOW WOMEN ARE IRRATIONAL?
Votey:
Panel 1: A loosely sketched scene in black and white. One person leans in toward another.
First person: WHY ARE YOU UP AT MIDNIGHT?
Second person: THE INTERNET NEEDS DICK JOKES.
Mr. & Mrs. Stu Jennings
2718 State St.
Santa Ana, MB
99291
Panel 2:
Woman (Barbara): DAMMIT! I SPENT 6 YEARS GETTING A PHD! WHY DOES YOUR NAME GO ON LETTERS TO US?
Panel 3:
Man: YEAH, WELL I SPENT 36 YEARS CAREFULLY PRESERVING MY PENIS! DOES THAT MEAN NOTHING?
Panel 4:
Woman (Barbara): I SPENT 36 YEARS WITH A VAGINA. WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
Panel 5:
Man: OH, YEAH, LIKE PENIS BANDITS ARE GONNA CUT OFF YOUR VAGINA. THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE, BARBARA.
Panel 6:
Woman (Barbara): JUST TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO PUT MY NAME ON THEIR GODDAMN LETTERS!
Man: AND LET THEIR GUARD DOWN FOR THE PENIS BANDITS?
Woman (Barbara): JUST DO IT.
Panel 7:
Man: UGH. FINE.
Panel 8: The man is now on the phone, holding it to his ear, with the woman standing behind him.
Man (into phone): HEY, TED, YOU KNOW HOW WOMEN ARE IRRATIONAL?
Votey:
Panel 1: A loosely sketched scene in black and white. One person leans in toward another.
First person: WHY ARE YOU UP AT MIDNIGHT?
Second person: THE INTERNET NEEDS DICK JOKES.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a hand holds an envelope addressed to "Mr. & Mrs. Stu Jennings, 2718 State St., Santa Ana, MB 99291." A woman named Barbara argues with her husband. Barbara: "Dammit! I spent 6 years getting a PhD! Why does YOUR name go on letters to us?" Husband: "Yeah, well I spent 36 years carefully preserving my penis! Does that mean nothing?" Barbara: "I spent 36 years with a vagina. What's your point?" Husband: "Oh, yeah, like penis bandits are gonna cut off your vagina. That doesn't even make sense, Barbara." Barbara: "Just tell your friends to put my name on their goddamn letters!" Husband: "And let their guard down for the penis bandits?" Barbara: "Just do it." Husband: "Ugh. Fine." In the final panel he picks up the phone and says, "Hey, Ted, you know how women are irrational?" -- having missed his wife's entire point. Votey (a separate black-and-white sketch): one person asks another, "Why are you up at midnight?" The reply: "The internet needs dick jokes."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.