2010-09-16
Original: 2010-09-16 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A woman with red-brown hair and round glasses stands at a whiteboard holding a pointer, gesturing at a graph. The graph is labeled "G-I-V-E-A-S-H-I-T" on the vertical axis and "Time" on the horizontal axis; the curve rises to a peak and then falls. A man with orange hair (seen from behind) listens.
Woman: AS YOU CAN SEE HERE, I REACHED PEAK GIVING-A-SHIT SIX MONTHS AGO. CARING IS A FINITE RESOURCE, AND YOU USED IT UP WHEN YOU KEPT COMPLAINING ABOUT VIDEO GAME RELEASE DATES.
Panel 2:
Close-up of the woman, looking serious.
Woman: IN ORDER TO FACILITATE OUR CONTINUED RELATIONSHIP, I'M LOOKING INTO ALTERNATIVE GIVING-A-SHIT RESOURCES, SUCH AS LUST, FEAR OF CHANGE, AND AN ABSTRACT FEELING OF OBLIGATION.
Panel 3:
The man (with orange hair, blue shirt) faces the woman.
Man: SO... WE'RE BREAKING UP, OR—
Woman: I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE KIDS.
Votey:
A loosely sketched panel. An older person with glasses smiles widely.
Older person: AND THAT NIGHT, YOU WERE CONCEIVED.
A woman with red-brown hair and round glasses stands at a whiteboard holding a pointer, gesturing at a graph. The graph is labeled "G-I-V-E-A-S-H-I-T" on the vertical axis and "Time" on the horizontal axis; the curve rises to a peak and then falls. A man with orange hair (seen from behind) listens.
Woman: AS YOU CAN SEE HERE, I REACHED PEAK GIVING-A-SHIT SIX MONTHS AGO. CARING IS A FINITE RESOURCE, AND YOU USED IT UP WHEN YOU KEPT COMPLAINING ABOUT VIDEO GAME RELEASE DATES.
Panel 2:
Close-up of the woman, looking serious.
Woman: IN ORDER TO FACILITATE OUR CONTINUED RELATIONSHIP, I'M LOOKING INTO ALTERNATIVE GIVING-A-SHIT RESOURCES, SUCH AS LUST, FEAR OF CHANGE, AND AN ABSTRACT FEELING OF OBLIGATION.
Panel 3:
The man (with orange hair, blue shirt) faces the woman.
Man: SO... WE'RE BREAKING UP, OR—
Woman: I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE KIDS.
Votey:
A loosely sketched panel. An older person with glasses smiles widely.
Older person: AND THAT NIGHT, YOU WERE CONCEIVED.
Alt text
A three-panel comic. Panel 1: A woman with glasses stands at a whiteboard pointing to a graph whose vertical axis reads "GIVE-A-SHIT" and horizontal axis reads "Time"; the curve rises to a peak then drops. She tells her orange-haired partner, "As you can see here, I reached peak giving-a-shit six months ago. Caring is a finite resource, and you used it up when you kept complaining about video game release dates." Panel 2: Close-up of the woman: "In order to facilitate our continued relationship, I'm looking into alternative giving-a-shit resources, such as lust, fear of change, and an abstract feeling of obligation." Panel 3: The man asks, "So... we're breaking up, or—" and she interrupts, "I think we should have kids." Votey (aftercomic): A sketchy panel showing a grinning older person with glasses saying, "And that night, you were conceived"—revealing this clinical conversation was the origin story being told to their now-grown child.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.