2010-09-18
Original: 2010-09-18 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A pair of aliens (Klingon-like figures) sit on a couch watching a television.
Narration: Come on, lady Klingons. Come onnnnnn lady Klingons.
Panel 2: A green bat-like alien creature.
Narration: This is because all intelligent species eventually discover science. Therefore, they either explode themselves or become so self-involved that they cease to care about reality.
Text on screen / caption: Socialized capitalism is superior to capitalized socialism. PLEASED MARKET EQUILIBRIUM.
Text: Oh my god! In their universe... EVERYONE has BOOBS!
Panel 3: A dark landscape with a black circular void/portal above pyramid-like hills.
Narration: The band of time between the invention of wireless transmission and the end of a wave is so short, civilizations send out a tiny ball of information into space.
Panel 4:
Narration: The odds of any civilization being capable of receiving a signal widely is almost zero.
Dialogue: Did you hear something?
Dialogue: Let's freaking move. (more building chant phrases?)
Panel 5:
Narration: In case you're curious, here's what ours will look like:
EARTH'S FIRST BROADCAST:
Early amateur radio users shouting "FUCK YOU, SPACE!"
- CRAPPY TV
- LESS CRAPPY TV
- PRESIDENT CALLS CHINESE MISSILE COMMAND "BUNCH OF PUSSIES"
- GAMMA RADIATION
Votey:
A person sits at a desk writing, with a satellite dish beside them.
Speech bubble: GODSPEED, LITTLE DICK JOKES.
Narration: Come on, lady Klingons. Come onnnnnn lady Klingons.
Panel 2: A green bat-like alien creature.
Narration: This is because all intelligent species eventually discover science. Therefore, they either explode themselves or become so self-involved that they cease to care about reality.
Text on screen / caption: Socialized capitalism is superior to capitalized socialism. PLEASED MARKET EQUILIBRIUM.
Text: Oh my god! In their universe... EVERYONE has BOOBS!
Panel 3: A dark landscape with a black circular void/portal above pyramid-like hills.
Narration: The band of time between the invention of wireless transmission and the end of a wave is so short, civilizations send out a tiny ball of information into space.
Panel 4:
Narration: The odds of any civilization being capable of receiving a signal widely is almost zero.
Dialogue: Did you hear something?
Dialogue: Let's freaking move. (more building chant phrases?)
Panel 5:
Narration: In case you're curious, here's what ours will look like:
EARTH'S FIRST BROADCAST:
Early amateur radio users shouting "FUCK YOU, SPACE!"
- CRAPPY TV
- LESS CRAPPY TV
- PRESIDENT CALLS CHINESE MISSILE COMMAND "BUNCH OF PUSSIES"
- GAMMA RADIATION
Votey:
A person sits at a desk writing, with a satellite dish beside them.
Speech bubble: GODSPEED, LITTLE DICK JOKES.
Alt text
A tall SMBC comic. In the first panels, two Klingon-like aliens lounge on a couch watching TV, with narration joking "Come on, lady Klingons. Come onnnnnn lady Klingons." A bat-like green alien appears beside a screen showing absurd political-economic slogans ("Socialized capitalism is superior to capitalized socialism") and a caption "Oh my god! In their universe... EVERYONE has BOOBS!" The narration explains that all intelligent species eventually discover science and either destroy themselves or stop caring about reality, and that the window between inventing wireless transmission and a wave's end is so short that civilizations only fling a tiny ball of information into space, with near-zero odds of anyone receiving it. A dark landscape shows a black circular void hovering over pyramid-shaped hills, with figures muttering "Did you hear something?" / "Let's freaking move." A final caption lists "EARTH'S FIRST BROADCAST": early amateur radio users shouting "FUCK YOU, SPACE!", crappy TV, less crappy TV, a president calling Chinese missile command a "bunch of pussies," and gamma radiation. Votey: a person sits at a desk writing next to a satellite dish, a speech bubble declaring "GODSPEED, LITTLE DICK JOKES."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.