2010-03-05
Original: 2010-03-05 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A military officer in uniform holds out a sheet of paper toward an older, gray-bearded man (the President) seated on a couch.
Military officer: "MR. PRESIDENT! THE PEOPLE AT SETI HAVE FOUND A MYSTERIOUS EQUATION FROM SPACE! THEY WANTED ME TO SHOW YOU IMMEDIATELY!"
Panel 2: Close-up of the bearded President reading the sheet of paper, looking weary.
Panel 3: Close-up of the President, eyes closed.
President: "*sigh*"
Panel 4: The President sits at a desk holding a telephone receiver to his ear; the military officer (red/orange hair) sits across from him.
President: "GET ME DR. PLAIT. HI. WE KNOW THE JOCKS BULLIED YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL. PLEASE STOP BEING MEAN TO THE MILITARY."
Panel 5: The red-haired military officer alone, looking glum (small panel).
Panel 6: A close-up of the sheet of paper, now shown clearly. It reads:
"Urgent!"
and below it, the "equation": "8==D" (an ASCII drawing of a penis).
Votey:
Caption: "ON PLANET ZORBLAX..."
Two aliens (gray, big-eyed) stand together.
First alien: "DO YOU THINK ANYONE IS OUT THERE?"
Second alien: "ALL WE CAN DO IS TRANSMIT MORE MORE ASCII DICKS, WATCH THE STARS... AND HOPE..."
Military officer: "MR. PRESIDENT! THE PEOPLE AT SETI HAVE FOUND A MYSTERIOUS EQUATION FROM SPACE! THEY WANTED ME TO SHOW YOU IMMEDIATELY!"
Panel 2: Close-up of the bearded President reading the sheet of paper, looking weary.
Panel 3: Close-up of the President, eyes closed.
President: "*sigh*"
Panel 4: The President sits at a desk holding a telephone receiver to his ear; the military officer (red/orange hair) sits across from him.
President: "GET ME DR. PLAIT. HI. WE KNOW THE JOCKS BULLIED YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL. PLEASE STOP BEING MEAN TO THE MILITARY."
Panel 5: The red-haired military officer alone, looking glum (small panel).
Panel 6: A close-up of the sheet of paper, now shown clearly. It reads:
"Urgent!"
and below it, the "equation": "8==D" (an ASCII drawing of a penis).
Votey:
Caption: "ON PLANET ZORBLAX..."
Two aliens (gray, big-eyed) stand together.
First alien: "DO YOU THINK ANYONE IS OUT THERE?"
Second alien: "ALL WE CAN DO IS TRANSMIT MORE MORE ASCII DICKS, WATCH THE STARS... AND HOPE..."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A uniformed military officer rushes up to a gray-bearded older President on a couch, holding out a paper, saying "Mr. President! The people at SETI have found a mysterious equation from space! They wanted me to show you immediately!" Panels 2-3: Close-ups of the weary President reading the paper, then closing his eyes with a "*sigh*." Panel 4: The President picks up a phone and says, "Get me Dr. Plait. Hi. We know the jocks bullied you in high school. Please stop being mean to the military" -- implying the so-called alien equation is a prank from a scientist who dislikes the military. Panel 5: The red-haired officer sits alone, glum. Panel 6: The paper is shown up close; it reads "Urgent!" above the "equation" 8==D, an ASCII drawing of a penis -- the punchline that the mysterious space signal is just a crude doodle. Votey aftercomic: Captioned "On planet Zorblax," two gray big-eyed aliens stand together. One asks, "Do you think anyone is out there?" The other answers, "All we can do is transmit more ASCII dicks, watch the stars... and hope..." -- revealing aliens are sending the same crude drawings into space.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.