2010-01-26
Original: 2010-01-26 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A woman with gray hair and round glasses in a lab coat (a chemistry professor): "FUNDING'S NOT SO GOOD. WE'VE BEEN FORCED TO SEND CHEMISTRY FACULTY OUT TO SELL HEROIN."
A man in safety goggles and a lab coat, standing beside a flask of red liquid: "OH, MY GOD.. ARE THEY OKAY."
The woman: "THEY'RE WELL ENOUGH, BUT... LET'S JUST SAY CHEM PROFS AREN'T THE BEST SALESMEN..."
Panel 2:
A figure with their back to the viewer, leaning out from behind a brick wall in an alley, calls out to a boy walking by carrying books: "HEY, KID. YOU WANNA BUY SOME (5α,6α)-7,8-DIDEHYDRO-4,5-EPOXY-17-METHYLMORPHINAN-3,6-DIOL DIACETATE?"
(The long chemical name is the IUPAC name for heroin.)
Votey:
A smiling bearded man (the comic's author): "PEOPLE LOVE DIACETATE JOKES!"
A woman with gray hair and round glasses in a lab coat (a chemistry professor): "FUNDING'S NOT SO GOOD. WE'VE BEEN FORCED TO SEND CHEMISTRY FACULTY OUT TO SELL HEROIN."
A man in safety goggles and a lab coat, standing beside a flask of red liquid: "OH, MY GOD.. ARE THEY OKAY."
The woman: "THEY'RE WELL ENOUGH, BUT... LET'S JUST SAY CHEM PROFS AREN'T THE BEST SALESMEN..."
Panel 2:
A figure with their back to the viewer, leaning out from behind a brick wall in an alley, calls out to a boy walking by carrying books: "HEY, KID. YOU WANNA BUY SOME (5α,6α)-7,8-DIDEHYDRO-4,5-EPOXY-17-METHYLMORPHINAN-3,6-DIOL DIACETATE?"
(The long chemical name is the IUPAC name for heroin.)
Votey:
A smiling bearded man (the comic's author): "PEOPLE LOVE DIACETATE JOKES!"
Alt text
A two-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: Inside a chemistry lab, a gray-haired woman professor in a lab coat tells a goggled male colleague that funding is so bad they've been forced to send chemistry faculty out to sell heroin. He gasps, "Oh my god, are they okay?" She replies they're well enough, "but let's just say chem profs aren't the best salesmen." Panel 2: In an alley, a professor hiding behind a brick wall hisses at a passing schoolboy: "Hey, kid. You wanna buy some (5α,6α)-7,8-didehydro-4,5-epoxy-17-methylmorphinan-3,6-diol diacetate?" — reciting heroin's full unwieldy IUPAC chemical name instead of just saying "heroin," the joke being that chemists can't help being precise even while dealing drugs. Votey (aftercomic): a grinning bearded man declares, "People love diacetate jokes!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.