2009-05-21
Original: 2009-05-21 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: HOW SCIENCE HISTORY WORKS
Panel 1: A bald man in a suit stands at a podium with a microphone. A woman with brown hair, in a red top, gestures toward a wall behind them.
Man at podium: "So, I propose we name the new element norma-martinez-is-a-fat-lazy-cheating-bitchnium."
Woman: "The rest of the team prefers hugo-martinez-is-a-dickless-manchild-who-saw-it-comingnium."
Panel 2: A red banner reads "20 YEARS LATER..." Below, a person with orange/red hair is seen in profile reading a sheet of paper or screen.
Reader: "Awww..."
Text on the sheet (with a periodic-table-style element box): "Martinium (left) was discovered by a husband and wife team."
Votey: A bald man with a mustache, in a shirt and tie, speaks.
Man: "I call this normaium, because it's huge and highly attracted to other elements."
Panel 1: A bald man in a suit stands at a podium with a microphone. A woman with brown hair, in a red top, gestures toward a wall behind them.
Man at podium: "So, I propose we name the new element norma-martinez-is-a-fat-lazy-cheating-bitchnium."
Woman: "The rest of the team prefers hugo-martinez-is-a-dickless-manchild-who-saw-it-comingnium."
Panel 2: A red banner reads "20 YEARS LATER..." Below, a person with orange/red hair is seen in profile reading a sheet of paper or screen.
Reader: "Awww..."
Text on the sheet (with a periodic-table-style element box): "Martinium (left) was discovered by a husband and wife team."
Votey: A bald man with a mustache, in a shirt and tie, speaks.
Man: "I call this normaium, because it's huge and highly attracted to other elements."
Alt text
Comic titled "How Science History Works." Panel 1: At a podium with a microphone, a bald man proposes naming a new element "norma-martinez-is-a-fat-lazy-cheating-bitchnium." A woman beside him replies that the rest of the team prefers "hugo-martinez-is-a-dickless-manchild-who-saw-it-comingnium" — implying a bitter divorcing couple turned their feud into proposed element names. Panel 2: A red banner reads "20 years later..." A red-haired person reads a sheet showing a periodic-table-style element entry and says "Awww..." The sheet reads: "Martinium (left) was discovered by a husband and wife team," the messy backstory sanitized by history into a sweet collaboration. Votey: A bald, mustached man in a shirt and tie says, "I call this normaium, because it's huge and highly attracted to other elements" — a petty insult dressed up as a chemistry description.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.