2009-04-07
Original: 2009-04-07 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman with brown hair stands at a lectern with a glass of water, presenting in front of a chalkboard.
Presenter (woman at lectern): "So, the nanobots find the zygote and convert the malformed 'Y' chromosome into a proper symmetrical 'X.' The bots are self-replicating, and will soon alter all human females in the world."
Panel 2: A man with red hair and glasses, in the audience, raises his hand and objects.
Red-haired man: "But, in three generations there'll be no men!"
Panel 3: The presenter, holding out a glass of water toward the man, responds dryly.
Presenter: "Well, I guess you're not interested in three generations of 18-year old girls who can't get a date their age."
Panel 4: Close-up of the red-haired man, wide-eyed, silently considering this.
Panel 5: A textbook-style illustration labeled "BIOLOGY 101." Three figures (one dark-skinned with a red headband, the red-haired man in the middle smiling smugly, and a blonde woman) pose together.
Caption heading: "THE HUMAN MALE"
Caption text: "The human male roamed the earth from approximately 200,000 B.C. to May of 2082. 'He' died out mysteriously for no [text cut off]"
Votey:
Header: "2050"
A woman stands behind a podium/counter speaking to a crowd holding pitchforks.
Woman: "We'll agree to go topless for a year if you stop the male uprising."
A hand in the crowd points up; a speech bubble from the crowd reads: "Deal."
Presenter (woman at lectern): "So, the nanobots find the zygote and convert the malformed 'Y' chromosome into a proper symmetrical 'X.' The bots are self-replicating, and will soon alter all human females in the world."
Panel 2: A man with red hair and glasses, in the audience, raises his hand and objects.
Red-haired man: "But, in three generations there'll be no men!"
Panel 3: The presenter, holding out a glass of water toward the man, responds dryly.
Presenter: "Well, I guess you're not interested in three generations of 18-year old girls who can't get a date their age."
Panel 4: Close-up of the red-haired man, wide-eyed, silently considering this.
Panel 5: A textbook-style illustration labeled "BIOLOGY 101." Three figures (one dark-skinned with a red headband, the red-haired man in the middle smiling smugly, and a blonde woman) pose together.
Caption heading: "THE HUMAN MALE"
Caption text: "The human male roamed the earth from approximately 200,000 B.C. to May of 2082. 'He' died out mysteriously for no [text cut off]"
Votey:
Header: "2050"
A woman stands behind a podium/counter speaking to a crowd holding pitchforks.
Woman: "We'll agree to go topless for a year if you stop the male uprising."
A hand in the crowd points up; a speech bubble from the crowd reads: "Deal."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a brown-haired woman at a lectern presents in front of a chalkboard, saying nanobots will convert the malformed 'Y' chromosome into a symmetrical 'X' and, being self-replicating, will soon alter all human females in the world. Panel 2: a red-haired man with glasses in the audience raises his hand and objects, 'But, in three generations there'll be no men!' Panel 3: the presenter, holding out a glass of water, replies dryly, 'Well, I guess you're not interested in three generations of 18-year old girls who can't get a date their age.' Panel 4: a wide-eyed close-up of the red-haired man silently reconsidering. Panel 5: a 'Biology 101' textbook illustration captioned 'The Human Male,' showing three smug figures, with text noting the human male roamed the earth from ~200,000 BC to May 2082 and 'died out mysteriously for no [reason].' The joke: men cheerfully agree to their own extinction in exchange for more available young women. Votey: a panel headed '2050' shows a woman at a podium telling a pitchfork-wielding crowd, 'We'll agree to go topless for a year if you stop the male uprising,' and a hand in the crowd answers, 'Deal.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.