2009-04-09
Original: 2009-04-09 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A long-haired, bearded man in a white robe and purple sash (Jesus) carries a large wooden cross past a grimacing soldier wearing a yellow tunic and a spiked crown/helmet. (No dialogue.)
Panel 2: The bearded man recoils and raises his hands defensively as a large sandaled foot kicks toward him. (No dialogue.)
Panel 3: Close on the bearded man's pained face; in the foreground a red-gloved/clenched fist is shown. (No dialogue.)
Panel 4: The bearded man, resurrected and glowing with radiant beams behind him, raises a fist triumphantly. Adoring followers cluster around him.
Panel 5: A meeting of clergy in red robes and mitres seated at a table with the bearded man (Jesus) standing at right.
Clergy: "WE... WE JUST DON'T THINK ANYONE WILL BELIEVE THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO JESUS."
Jesus: "FINE."
Votey: The bearded man, arms crossed and looking annoyed.
Jesus: "YOU GUYS ARE DICKS."
Panel 2: The bearded man recoils and raises his hands defensively as a large sandaled foot kicks toward him. (No dialogue.)
Panel 3: Close on the bearded man's pained face; in the foreground a red-gloved/clenched fist is shown. (No dialogue.)
Panel 4: The bearded man, resurrected and glowing with radiant beams behind him, raises a fist triumphantly. Adoring followers cluster around him.
Panel 5: A meeting of clergy in red robes and mitres seated at a table with the bearded man (Jesus) standing at right.
Clergy: "WE... WE JUST DON'T THINK ANYONE WILL BELIEVE THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO JESUS."
Jesus: "FINE."
Votey: The bearded man, arms crossed and looking annoyed.
Jesus: "YOU GUYS ARE DICKS."
Alt text
A five-panel comic depicting the Passion and resurrection of a long-haired, bearded man in a white robe and purple sash (Jesus). Panel 1: he carries a heavy wooden cross past a grimacing crowned soldier. Panel 2: he recoils as a sandaled foot kicks him. Panel 3: a close-up of his pained face with a clenched fist nearby. Panel 4: resurrected and glowing with radiant light, he raises a triumphant fist surrounded by adoring followers. Panel 5: a council of red-robed, mitred clergy at a table tells him, 'We... we just don't think anyone will believe the Gospel According to Jesus.' He flatly replies, 'Fine.' Votey aftercomic: the bearded man stands with arms crossed, looking irritated, and says, 'You guys are dicks.' The joke: after suffering and rising again, Jesus is told his own firsthand account isn't credible enough to include, so he calls the clergy out.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.