2009-04-04
Original: 2009-04-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman with orange hair, wide-eyed and frantic, stands holding a bloody knife in each hand amid a pile of slumped bodies.
Woman: "I CAN'T! I CAN'T DO IT! I'VE SPREAD MYSELF TOO THIN! NOW I HAVE TO THIN YOU OUT!"
Panel 2: A caption banner reads "EARLIER...". The same orange-haired woman speaks with a nun.
Woman: "HOW CAN I BE A BETTER PERSON?"
Nun: "TRY TO LOVE EVERYONE!"
Votey:
A woman leans over a seated man at a desk.
Woman: "IS THIS COMIC AN EXCUSE FOR WHY YOU NEVER TRY TO MEET NEW PEOPLE?"
Man: "I'M SAVING LIVES."
Woman: "I CAN'T! I CAN'T DO IT! I'VE SPREAD MYSELF TOO THIN! NOW I HAVE TO THIN YOU OUT!"
Panel 2: A caption banner reads "EARLIER...". The same orange-haired woman speaks with a nun.
Woman: "HOW CAN I BE A BETTER PERSON?"
Nun: "TRY TO LOVE EVERYONE!"
Votey:
A woman leans over a seated man at a desk.
Woman: "IS THIS COMIC AN EXCUSE FOR WHY YOU NEVER TRY TO MEET NEW PEOPLE?"
Man: "I'M SAVING LIVES."
Alt text
Two-panel comic. Panel 1: An orange-haired woman with a panicked, wild-eyed expression stands amid a heap of slumped bodies, gripping a blood-streaked knife in each hand. She shouts, "I can't! I can't do it! I've spread myself too thin! Now I have to thin you out!" Panel 2, labeled "Earlier...": The same woman calmly asks a nun, "How can I be a better person?" The nun smiles and replies, "Try to love everyone!" The joke: taking the advice to love everyone literally drove her to murder, since loving everyone was impossible. Votey (a small bonus panel): A woman leans over a man seated at a desk and asks, "Is this comic an excuse for why you never try to meet new people?" The man deadpans, "I'm saving lives."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.