2009-02-14

A vertical SMBC comic of fourteen panels, mostly two-shots alternating between a man (brown hair, maroon sweater) and a woman (dark hair) standing against dark and pink backgrounds. The exchange escalates: the man says they should break up; the woman says she's not comfortable with that and suggests he break up with her instead. They then trade confessions, each trying to one-up the other into being the obvious bad partner: he's been cheating, she's been cheating; for six months, seven months; he says "I'm preggers?", she says "I never use a condom!"; he pretends to be an underage boy to pick up male clients, she sleeps with underage boys every night dressed as Hitler; he stammers that he cheats with a guy who dresses like Hitler. A silent panel where they stare at each other follows. In the final two panels the man hesitantly asks "...Adolf?" and the woman replies "B-Billy?", revealing they have been cheating with each other's same partner. Votey: a valentine heart with a lace doily border reads, in hand-lettered caps, "WILL YOU 'BEE' GONE BY THE TIME I WAKE UP?" A small purple door with steps sits at the bottom of the heart and a flame-haired figure is shown sneaking out through it; a banner below reads "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!"