Hi
Original: Hi on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
An old man lying in bed addresses a younger man (his son) holding a red book.
Old man: SON, READ ME ALL OF DOSTOYEVSKY'S NOTES FROM UNDERGROUND.
Son: WHY?
Old man: I HAVE MY REASONS.
Panel 2:
The son, with flame-like orange hair, reads aloud from the open red book.
Son (reading): "I AM A SICK MAN.... I AM A SPITEFUL MAN. I AM AN UNATTRACTIVE MAN. I BELIEVE MY LIVER IS DISEASED..."
Panel 3:
The old man interrupts.
Old man: VERY GOOD. NOW HAND IT TO ME.
Panel 4:
The old man, now wearing glasses, holds a single sheet of paper and reads from it.
Old man (reading): "HI, A SICK MAN.... I AM A SPITEFUL MAN. I AM AN UNATTRACTIVE MAN. I BELIEVE MY LIVER IS DISEASED."
Panel 5 (red banner): 9 HOURS LATER...
The son sits beside the old man, who is still reading from the book in bed.
Old man (reading): "...WE SHALL CONTRIVE TO BE BORN SOMEHOW FROM AN IDEA. BUT ENOUGH; I DON'T WANT TO WRITE MORE FROM UNDERGROUND..."
Son: DON'T DO IT--
Old man: I'M DAD!
Votey:
Caption banner: SHORTLY...
Close-up of the old man's face, smiling smugly with closed (X-shaped) eyes, looking very pleased with himself after the pun.
An old man lying in bed addresses a younger man (his son) holding a red book.
Old man: SON, READ ME ALL OF DOSTOYEVSKY'S NOTES FROM UNDERGROUND.
Son: WHY?
Old man: I HAVE MY REASONS.
Panel 2:
The son, with flame-like orange hair, reads aloud from the open red book.
Son (reading): "I AM A SICK MAN.... I AM A SPITEFUL MAN. I AM AN UNATTRACTIVE MAN. I BELIEVE MY LIVER IS DISEASED..."
Panel 3:
The old man interrupts.
Old man: VERY GOOD. NOW HAND IT TO ME.
Panel 4:
The old man, now wearing glasses, holds a single sheet of paper and reads from it.
Old man (reading): "HI, A SICK MAN.... I AM A SPITEFUL MAN. I AM AN UNATTRACTIVE MAN. I BELIEVE MY LIVER IS DISEASED."
Panel 5 (red banner): 9 HOURS LATER...
The son sits beside the old man, who is still reading from the book in bed.
Old man (reading): "...WE SHALL CONTRIVE TO BE BORN SOMEHOW FROM AN IDEA. BUT ENOUGH; I DON'T WANT TO WRITE MORE FROM UNDERGROUND..."
Son: DON'T DO IT--
Old man: I'M DAD!
Votey:
Caption banner: SHORTLY...
Close-up of the old man's face, smiling smugly with closed (X-shaped) eyes, looking very pleased with himself after the pun.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: an old man lying in bed tells a younger man holding a red book, "Son, read me all of Dostoyevsky's Notes from Underground." The son asks "Why?" and the old man replies "I have my reasons." Panel 2: the son, who has flame-like orange hair, reads from the book: "I am a sick man.... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased..." Panel 3: the old man says "Very good. Now hand it to me." Panel 4: the old man, now wearing glasses, reads from a single sheet of paper, but he has rewritten the famous opening line as "Hi, a sick man...." continuing "I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased." A red banner reads "9 hours later..." Panel 5: the old man is still reading aloud from the book at the very end of the novel: "...we shall contrive to be born somehow from an idea. But enough; I don't want to write more from Underground..." The son says "Don't do it--" but the old man triumphantly answers "I'm Dad!" turning the line into a dad-joke setup ("Underground" / "I'm Dad"). Votey panel, captioned "Shortly...": a close-up of the old man's face grinning smugly with X-shaped closed eyes, immensely satisfied with his pun.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.