Warrantless
Original: Warrantless on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A muscular shirtless man wearing a police hat and dark boxer shorts strikes a dramatic pose in a doorway, arms braced against the frame. Two women (seen from behind, in the foreground) face him.
Man (police stripper): DON'T TRY TO HIDE, LADIES. I'M HERE TO CONDUCT A WARRANTLESS SEARCH. FOR SEXINESS.
Caption (below panel): Bachelorette parties became strangely ominous after the abandonment of the 4th amendment.
Votey:
Close-up of the same police-hatted stripper, lowering his sunglasses with one finger and looking at the viewer.
Man: PLEASE STUFF YOUR CITIZENSHIP PAPERS IN MY CROTCH.
A muscular shirtless man wearing a police hat and dark boxer shorts strikes a dramatic pose in a doorway, arms braced against the frame. Two women (seen from behind, in the foreground) face him.
Man (police stripper): DON'T TRY TO HIDE, LADIES. I'M HERE TO CONDUCT A WARRANTLESS SEARCH. FOR SEXINESS.
Caption (below panel): Bachelorette parties became strangely ominous after the abandonment of the 4th amendment.
Votey:
Close-up of the same police-hatted stripper, lowering his sunglasses with one finger and looking at the viewer.
Man: PLEASE STUFF YOUR CITIZENSHIP PAPERS IN MY CROTCH.
Alt text
A webcomic. Main panel: a muscular shirtless man in a police hat and dark boxer-briefs poses in a doorway, arms braced on the frame, facing two women shown from behind. He declares, "Don't try to hide, ladies. I'm here to conduct a warrantless search. For sexiness." A caption below reads, "Bachelorette parties became strangely ominous after the abandonment of the 4th amendment." The joke: a police stripper's come-on doubles as a creepy authoritarian search now that constitutional protections are gone. Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of the same police-hatted man lowering his sunglasses to eye the viewer, saying, "Please stuff your citizenship papers in my crotch."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.