Why
Original: Why on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A muscular bully grips a curly-haired victim and forces the victim to hit himself.
Bully: WHY YOU HITTIN' YOURSELF?! HUH?! WHY YOU HITTIN' YOURSELF?!
Panel 2: Close-up of the curly-haired victim, calm despite being bullied.
Victim: FOR IT IS IN THE NATURE OF THINGS.
Panel 3: The bully alone, looking deflated and frustrated.
Panel 4: The bully and the victim walk together along a brick wall.
Bully: I HATE TRYING TO BULLY STOICS.
Victim: LET'S TRY SOME EXISTENTIALISTS. THEY'RE SAD BEFORE YOU EVEN GET THERE.
Footer: PATREON.COM/ZACHWEINERSMITH SMBC-COMICS.COM
Votey:
A grinning man (the victim from the main comic) speaks gleefully.
Man: LET'S WEDGIE SOME UTILITARIANS AND MAKE THEM SAY IT INCREASES OUR HAPPINESS MORE THAN IT DECREASES THEIRS.
Bully: WHY YOU HITTIN' YOURSELF?! HUH?! WHY YOU HITTIN' YOURSELF?!
Panel 2: Close-up of the curly-haired victim, calm despite being bullied.
Victim: FOR IT IS IN THE NATURE OF THINGS.
Panel 3: The bully alone, looking deflated and frustrated.
Panel 4: The bully and the victim walk together along a brick wall.
Bully: I HATE TRYING TO BULLY STOICS.
Victim: LET'S TRY SOME EXISTENTIALISTS. THEY'RE SAD BEFORE YOU EVEN GET THERE.
Footer: PATREON.COM/ZACHWEINERSMITH SMBC-COMICS.COM
Votey:
A grinning man (the victim from the main comic) speaks gleefully.
Man: LET'S WEDGIE SOME UTILITARIANS AND MAKE THEM SAY IT INCREASES OUR HAPPINESS MORE THAN IT DECREASES THEIRS.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A burly bully grabs a curly-haired victim and forces the victim's own hand against him, yelling 'WHY YOU HITTIN' YOURSELF?! HUH?! WHY YOU HITTIN' YOURSELF?!' Panel 2: A calm close-up of the victim replying, 'FOR IT IS IN THE NATURE OF THINGS.' Panel 3: The bully stands alone looking deflated and annoyed. Panel 4: The two now walk together beside a brick wall; the bully sighs, 'I HATE TRYING TO BULLY STOICS,' and the victim suggests, 'LET'S TRY SOME EXISTENTIALISTS. THEY'RE SAD BEFORE YOU EVEN GET THERE.' The joke: stoic philosophy makes a victim unsatisfying to bully, so they go hunting for sadder philosophical targets. Votey panel: the grinning man proposes, 'LET'S WEDGIE SOME UTILITARIANS AND MAKE THEM SAY IT INCREASES OUR HAPPINESS MORE THAN IT DECREASES THEIRS.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.