Princess
Original: Princess on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A blonde princess in a pink-and-yellow gown stands alone in a green field with her arms spread wide, singing.
Princess: "LA! LA! LA! SO GLAD TO BE HERE ALONE AND UNPROTECTED."
Panel 2: Close on the princess, eyes closed, singing.
Princess: "JUST ME, A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS IN BY A TOWER FILLED WITH GOLD AND JEWELS! LA! LA! LA!"
Panel 3: A wide view. A dark winged shape (a dragon) flies in the distant sky; the small princess stands far below by her tower.
Panel 4: A red dragon swoops down through the blue sky. The princess stands by a thatched-roof tower in the green field below.
Princess (off-panel speech bubble): "NOW."
Panel 5: Close on the princess, mouth open, shouting.
Panel 6: A harpoon strikes the diving red dragon in the chest, blood spraying. A line trails from the harpoon all the way back to the tiny princess standing beside her tower.
Sound effect: "FOOM!"
Panel 7: The dead red dragon lies sprawled on a hillside, harvested with industrial harpoon-gun rigs mounted on towers atop it. Silhouetted workers stand around it; a cart hauls away a piece of the carcass.
Panel 8: The princess and a man in a green soldier/elf-style outfit (holding a heart-shaped piece, possibly the dragon's heart) stand looking at the harvested dragon on the hill.
Princess (named Cheryl): "DRAGON-HUNTING WAS MORE SPORTING BEFORE HARPOON GUNS."
Man: "IT'S A JOB, CHERYL. DON'T OVERTHINK IT."
Votey:
A single panel with two simply-drawn stick-style figures standing outdoors.
First figure: "HAS THE CATCH BEEN GETTING SMALLER EACH YEAR?"
Second figure: "NAH, NATURE DOESN'T DO THAT."
Princess: "LA! LA! LA! SO GLAD TO BE HERE ALONE AND UNPROTECTED."
Panel 2: Close on the princess, eyes closed, singing.
Princess: "JUST ME, A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS IN BY A TOWER FILLED WITH GOLD AND JEWELS! LA! LA! LA!"
Panel 3: A wide view. A dark winged shape (a dragon) flies in the distant sky; the small princess stands far below by her tower.
Panel 4: A red dragon swoops down through the blue sky. The princess stands by a thatched-roof tower in the green field below.
Princess (off-panel speech bubble): "NOW."
Panel 5: Close on the princess, mouth open, shouting.
Panel 6: A harpoon strikes the diving red dragon in the chest, blood spraying. A line trails from the harpoon all the way back to the tiny princess standing beside her tower.
Sound effect: "FOOM!"
Panel 7: The dead red dragon lies sprawled on a hillside, harvested with industrial harpoon-gun rigs mounted on towers atop it. Silhouetted workers stand around it; a cart hauls away a piece of the carcass.
Panel 8: The princess and a man in a green soldier/elf-style outfit (holding a heart-shaped piece, possibly the dragon's heart) stand looking at the harvested dragon on the hill.
Princess (named Cheryl): "DRAGON-HUNTING WAS MORE SPORTING BEFORE HARPOON GUNS."
Man: "IT'S A JOB, CHERYL. DON'T OVERTHINK IT."
Votey:
A single panel with two simply-drawn stick-style figures standing outdoors.
First figure: "HAS THE CATCH BEEN GETTING SMALLER EACH YEAR?"
Second figure: "NAH, NATURE DOESN'T DO THAT."
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A blonde princess in a pink-and-yellow gown stands alone in a green field, arms spread, singing: "La! La! La! So glad to be here alone and unprotected. Just me, a beautiful princess by a tower filled with gold and jewels!" A red dragon spots her from the sky and dives. As it nears, the princess shouts "NOW." and a harpoon, fired from a line she's holding by the tower, slams into the dragon's chest with a "FOOM!" The next panel reveals the dragon's body sprawled on a hillside being industrially harvested by harpoon-gun rigs and workers, a cart hauling away pieces. The princess, called Cheryl, stands with a man in a green outfit and says, "Dragon-hunting was more sporting before harpoon guns." He replies, "It's a job, Cheryl. Don't overthink it." The joke: the helpless-bait routine is just bait for an industrial dragon-fishing operation. Votey: two stick figures talk; one asks "Has the catch been getting smaller each year?" and the other answers, "Nah, nature doesn't do that" — an ironic nod to overfishing.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.