ohyesrobot.ordoliberal.com

Gardening

Original: Gardening on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

Panel 1:
Woman with blonde hair: THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL GARDEN, BUT WHY SO MANY PLUM TREES AT THE BOTTOM OF A DITCH?
Woman with dark hair: IT'S SO THE PLUMS FALL AND ACCUMULATE.

(The first woman appears confused; the dark-haired woman explains while standing among the plum trees.)

Panel 2:
Woman with blonde hair: I WANT---
Woman with dark hair: LIVING IN YOUR NATURE SUCH THAT NATURE GETS BECOMING WASTED.

Panel 3:
Woman with dark hair: COME WITH ME TONIGHT, AND UNDER THE STARS WE'LL WATCH ROCKY FALL OUT OF A TREE. STRIPEY WILL DO GLAMOROUS FIGHTING. MOTHER MAGA WILL TRY TO HAVE SEX WITH A TURTLE AGAIN.

Panel 4 ("AT DUSK"):
Woman with blonde hair: OH WOW! STRIPEY'S FISTFIGHTING A MUSHROOM!

Panel 5 ("AT DUSK," silhouettes against sunset):
Woman with dark hair: I COULD SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE DOING THIS, HERE, WITH YOU.

(Note: some dialogue in this comic is intentionally garbled/dreamlike. The two women share a romantic outdoor evening watching wildlife.)

Votey:
Caption box: LATER...
An older woman (speaking, off-panel mostly, gesturing): AND THAT'S WHERE YOU WERE CONCEIVED.
A small child looks up with a wary, unsettled expression.

Alt text

A five-panel SMBC comic. A blonde woman and a dark-haired woman stand in a lush green garden full of plum trees growing at the bottom of a ditch. The blonde asks why the plum trees are in a ditch; the dark-haired woman says it's so the plums fall and accumulate. The dark-haired woman invites the blonde to come out at night to watch wildlife under the stars, describing animals doing strange things (one falling from a tree, another fighting, another trying to mate with a turtle). At dusk, the blonde excitedly exclaims that one creature is fistfighting a mushroom. In the final panel, silhouetted against an orange sunset, the dark-haired woman says she could spend the rest of her life doing this, here, with the blonde, framing it as a tender romantic moment. Votey aftercomic: a 'LATER...' caption shows an older woman saying 'AND THAT'S WHERE YOU WERE CONCEIVED,' while a small child stares up with a wary, disturbed expression, revealing the romantic garden scene was the setting of the child's conception.

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.