Out
Original: Out on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A bald man wearing dark goggles and a green-and-yellow robe stands gesturing toward a framed diagram on the wall behind him. The diagram is labeled "Out of Ass-ica Hypothesis" and shows a red planet with a star-burst mark on it.
Lecturer (speech balloon): THE BACTERIUM WHICH COLONIZED AND DOMINATED THE RED PLANET CAN BE TRACED TO A SINGLE HUMAN GUT, PUSHED OUT OF AN AIRLOCK ON MARCH 5, 2063. THIS WORLD IS NOW A VAST MACROCOSM OF ONE MAN'S COLON.
Caption (below panel): I plan to be remembered as the greatest colonizer of Mars.
Votey:
A tiny stick figure swims in a small pool of white water within a large black field.
Swimmer (speech balloon): I WILL COME BACK, MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!
A bald man wearing dark goggles and a green-and-yellow robe stands gesturing toward a framed diagram on the wall behind him. The diagram is labeled "Out of Ass-ica Hypothesis" and shows a red planet with a star-burst mark on it.
Lecturer (speech balloon): THE BACTERIUM WHICH COLONIZED AND DOMINATED THE RED PLANET CAN BE TRACED TO A SINGLE HUMAN GUT, PUSHED OUT OF AN AIRLOCK ON MARCH 5, 2063. THIS WORLD IS NOW A VAST MACROCOSM OF ONE MAN'S COLON.
Caption (below panel): I plan to be remembered as the greatest colonizer of Mars.
Votey:
A tiny stick figure swims in a small pool of white water within a large black field.
Swimmer (speech balloon): I WILL COME BACK, MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!
Alt text
Main panel: A bald lecturer in dark goggles and a green-and-yellow robe gestures toward a framed wall diagram titled "Out of Ass-ica Hypothesis," which depicts a red planet marked with a starburst. His speech balloon reads: "The bacterium which colonized and dominated the Red Planet can be traced to a single human gut, pushed out of an airlock on March 5, 2063. This world is now a vast macrocosm of one man's colon." A caption beneath reads: "I plan to be remembered as the greatest colonizer of Mars." The joke: a man who got expelled (with his gut bacteria) out an airlock becomes Mars's true "colonizer" via the bacteria that seeded the planet. Votey: A tiny stick figure swims in a small white pool surrounded by vast black, declaring "I will come back, more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" — evoking the bacterium's eventual triumph from humble, expelled beginnings.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.