Great News
Original: Great News on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A man in a white lab coat, green shirt, and dark tie stands at a podium, smiling and gesturing with one arm outstretched.
Man: GREAT NEWS, EVERYONE! THANKS TO TECHNOLOGY, WE HAVE ELIMINATED POVERTY, DISEASE, AND ALL MALADIES OF AGING!
Caption (below panel): At last, the federal budget could go entirely to warfare.
Votey:
A close-up of the same man's smiling face at the podium.
Man: WITH SOME LUCK, AND A CAN-DO ATTITUDE, WE HOPE SOON TO AUTOMATE MASS DEATH!
A man in a white lab coat, green shirt, and dark tie stands at a podium, smiling and gesturing with one arm outstretched.
Man: GREAT NEWS, EVERYONE! THANKS TO TECHNOLOGY, WE HAVE ELIMINATED POVERTY, DISEASE, AND ALL MALADIES OF AGING!
Caption (below panel): At last, the federal budget could go entirely to warfare.
Votey:
A close-up of the same man's smiling face at the podium.
Man: WITH SOME LUCK, AND A CAN-DO ATTITUDE, WE HOPE SOON TO AUTOMATE MASS DEATH!
Alt text
A man in a white lab coat, green shirt, and tie stands at a podium, grinning and gesturing outward with one arm as he announces: "Great news, everyone! Thanks to technology, we have eliminated poverty, disease, and all maladies of aging!" A caption below reads: "At last, the federal budget could go entirely to warfare." In the votey, a close-up of the same beaming face delivers the dark punchline: "With some luck, and a can-do attitude, we hope soon to automate mass death!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.