ticket
Original: ticket on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Person (in green coat, seated, sliding tickets across a counter): Hello movie theater clerk. Three tickets for me alone, for Bloodsmash 3.
Panel 2:
Movie theater clerk (off to the side): You're clearly not over eighteen. You're three kids in a trenchcoat. I can hear the two below you trading Pokemon cards.
Panel 3:
Green-coated figure (lowest of the stacked kids, looking down):
*AHEM*
Food costs more. Music is too commercial. My body experiences pain. Food costs more. Music is too commercial. My body experiences pain. Food costs more. Music is too commercial. My body experiences pain.
Panel 4:
A second face (a red/orange-haired kid) pops up above the first, continuing the recitation:
Food costs more. Music is too commercial. My body experiences pain. Food costs more. Music is too commercial. My body exper—
Panel 5:
Clerk (now convinced, gesturing): My apologies. Right this way, Mr. Elderstein.
Votey:
A single figure (an adult, drawn larger) says: Thank you. Life was better when my body was supple and the future was far and bright, am I right?
Person (in green coat, seated, sliding tickets across a counter): Hello movie theater clerk. Three tickets for me alone, for Bloodsmash 3.
Panel 2:
Movie theater clerk (off to the side): You're clearly not over eighteen. You're three kids in a trenchcoat. I can hear the two below you trading Pokemon cards.
Panel 3:
Green-coated figure (lowest of the stacked kids, looking down):
*AHEM*
Food costs more. Music is too commercial. My body experiences pain. Food costs more. Music is too commercial. My body experiences pain. Food costs more. Music is too commercial. My body experiences pain.
Panel 4:
A second face (a red/orange-haired kid) pops up above the first, continuing the recitation:
Food costs more. Music is too commercial. My body experiences pain. Food costs more. Music is too commercial. My body exper—
Panel 5:
Clerk (now convinced, gesturing): My apologies. Right this way, Mr. Elderstein.
Votey:
A single figure (an adult, drawn larger) says: Thank you. Life was better when my body was supple and the future was far and bright, am I right?
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a person in a green coat slides tickets across a movie theater counter and says, "Hello movie theater clerk. Three tickets for me alone, for Bloodsmash 3." Panel 2: the clerk replies, "You're clearly not over eighteen. You're three kids in a trenchcoat. I can hear the two below you trading Pokemon cards." Panels 3 and 4: the disguise (revealed to be kids stacked in a coat, one dark-haired, one with red-orange hair) tries to sound like a jaded adult, reciting on loop: "*AHEM* Food costs more. Music is too commercial. My body experiences pain." repeated several times until cut off mid-word. Panel 5: the clerk is now fully convinced and gestures them inside, saying, "My apologies. Right this way, Mr. Elderstein." Votey: a single adult figure says, "Thank you. Life was better when my body was supple and the future was far and bright, am I right?" The joke: kids impersonate an adult not by faking an ID but by parroting the universal complaints of aging adults, which fully convinces the clerk.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.