sacrifice-3
Original: sacrifice-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
God (a man with flame-like hair): Why is there suffering in our world? Why diseases, why natural disasters?
Panel 2:
God: When was the last time you sacrificed a we-goat without burning for me?
Panel 3:
Man: You said you hadn't done that sort of thing anymore.
God: I said that, but that doesn't mean you can't do it.
Panel 4:
Man: Look, if you want it, just say so.
God: It's not about me wanting it. It's about you knowing what I want because we have a relationship.
Panel 5:
God: I'm not a minderbade god!
Man: Abraham always knew what I wanted!
Panel 6:
God: Well, I'm not Abraham.
Panel 7:
Man: Forget it. Nevermind.
God: Are you mad?
Panel 8:
Man: I am not mad. Goodbye.
God: You are mad.
Panel 9 (caption): Later, it came to pass:
God (thinking, frustrated): Oh man, so immature.
God (shouting): Millions die in floods!
Votey:
A close-up of God's face, speaking into a speech bubble: "Grow. Up."
God (a man with flame-like hair): Why is there suffering in our world? Why diseases, why natural disasters?
Panel 2:
God: When was the last time you sacrificed a we-goat without burning for me?
Panel 3:
Man: You said you hadn't done that sort of thing anymore.
God: I said that, but that doesn't mean you can't do it.
Panel 4:
Man: Look, if you want it, just say so.
God: It's not about me wanting it. It's about you knowing what I want because we have a relationship.
Panel 5:
God: I'm not a minderbade god!
Man: Abraham always knew what I wanted!
Panel 6:
God: Well, I'm not Abraham.
Panel 7:
Man: Forget it. Nevermind.
God: Are you mad?
Panel 8:
Man: I am not mad. Goodbye.
God: You are mad.
Panel 9 (caption): Later, it came to pass:
God (thinking, frustrated): Oh man, so immature.
God (shouting): Millions die in floods!
Votey:
A close-up of God's face, speaking into a speech bubble: "Grow. Up."
Alt text
A nine-panel comic depicting an argument between a man and God, who is drawn as a man with red, flame-like hair. In the first panels God demands to know why there is suffering, disease, and natural disasters, then pivots to passive-aggressively complaining that the man hasn't sacrificed a goat to him lately. The man says God claimed he didn't want that anymore; God insists that doesn't mean the man can't still do it, and that a real relationship means just knowing what God wants without being told. God snaps that he's not a 'minderbade god' and the man retorts that Abraham always knew what he wanted; God replies 'Well, I'm not Abraham.' The man gives up, saying 'Forget it. Nevermind. I am not mad. Goodbye,' while God needles him with 'Are you mad? You are mad.' In the final panel, labeled 'Later, it came to pass,' a sulking God thinks 'Oh man, so immature' and then shouts 'Millions die in floods!'—punishing humanity out of petty wounded pride. In the votey aftercomic, an extreme close-up of God's annoyed face delivers the deadpan line: 'Grow. Up.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.