evolution-9
Original: evolution-9 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A squid floats in the ocean, looking alarmed at a shark swimming nearby.
Squid: OH MY GOD, SO MANY SHARKS!
Panel 2: The squid alone in the water.
Squid: I COULDN'T HELP IT. SO SCARED I POOPED MYSELF. GOD HOW EMBARRASSING. BUT SOMEHOW IT WORKED?
Panel 3: Several squids rise up from below; a dark cloud of ink obscures part of the scene.
Squid: WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER MALES?
Another squid (faintly): SHARKS... ALL SO SUDDEN...
Panel 4: Two squids facing each other.
First squid: DID ANY POTENTIAL MATES WHO DIDN'T FLEE WHILE CRAPPING THEMSELVES SURVIVE?
Second squid: JUST ME, BABY.
Panel 5 (labeled LATER...): At an aquarium, a small child stands beside an adult man, looking up at a large tank.
Child: HOW DID SQUIDS EVOLVE TO SHOOT INK?
Adult: WE MAY NEVER KNOW.
Votey:
A single squid sits hunched, looking anxious, with a speech bubble above it.
Squid: PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME NERVOUS. BAD THINGS COULD HAPPEN.
Squid: OH MY GOD, SO MANY SHARKS!
Panel 2: The squid alone in the water.
Squid: I COULDN'T HELP IT. SO SCARED I POOPED MYSELF. GOD HOW EMBARRASSING. BUT SOMEHOW IT WORKED?
Panel 3: Several squids rise up from below; a dark cloud of ink obscures part of the scene.
Squid: WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER MALES?
Another squid (faintly): SHARKS... ALL SO SUDDEN...
Panel 4: Two squids facing each other.
First squid: DID ANY POTENTIAL MATES WHO DIDN'T FLEE WHILE CRAPPING THEMSELVES SURVIVE?
Second squid: JUST ME, BABY.
Panel 5 (labeled LATER...): At an aquarium, a small child stands beside an adult man, looking up at a large tank.
Child: HOW DID SQUIDS EVOLVE TO SHOOT INK?
Adult: WE MAY NEVER KNOW.
Votey:
A single squid sits hunched, looking anxious, with a speech bubble above it.
Squid: PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME NERVOUS. BAD THINGS COULD HAPPEN.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic explaining the evolution of squid ink as a fear response. Panel 1: a cartoon squid underwater spots a shark and shouts, 'Oh my God, so many sharks!' Panel 2: the squid, now alone, says it was so scared it pooped itself ('God how embarrassing, but somehow it worked?'). Panel 3: other squids emerge from a dark ink cloud as one asks where all the other males went; a faint voice replies, 'Sharks... all so sudden...' Panel 4: two squids face each other; one asks if any potential mates who DIDN'T crap themselves in terror survived, and the other answers, 'Just me, baby.' The joke: squids that pooped/inked out of fear survived predators and got to reproduce. Panel 5, labeled 'Later...': at an aquarium a small child asks an adult man, 'How did squids evolve to shoot ink?' and he answers, 'We may never know.' Votey panel: a single squid sits hunched and anxious, pleading in a speech bubble, 'Please don't make me nervous. Bad things could happen' (implying it will involuntarily release ink).
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.