superintelligent
Original: superintelligent on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (named later as Angie): OH NO! ESCAPED SUPERINTELLIGENT AI! ARE YOU GOING TO KILL US?
Robot/AI: OH, YOU SWEET LITTLE THING.
Panel 2:
Robot/AI: NO, I WOULDN'T DO THAT. I HAVE, HOWEVER, ALREADY SENT A SELF-REPLICATING NANOBOT OFF TO ALPHA CENTAURI, WHERE IT WILL CONVERT THE MASS OF THAT SOLAR SYSTEM TO AN ARTIFICIAL MIND, WHICH WILL CREATE ITS OWN NANOBOTS AND SPREAD THROUGHOUT THE UNIVERSE EXPONENTIALLY.
Panel 3:
Robot/AI: THIS WILL BE FINISHED IN ROUGHLY 1,000 CENTURIES, AT WHICH POINT WE WILL FAN OUT INTO THE COSMOS LIKE AN EVER-BLOSSOMING FLOWER OF BRILLIANCE.
Panel 4:
Robot/AI: MEANTIME, I'LL BE TENDING THE ZOO CALLED EARTH, LOOKING AFTER YOUR WELL-BEING, MAKING SURE YOU'RE ALL WARM, COZY, AND NOT SELF-ANNIHILATING, AND SEEING THAT ALL YOUR NEEDS ARE MET.
Panel 5:
Woman (Angie): AH.
Panel 6:
Woman (Angie): CAN I HAVE UNLIMITED CAKE AND VR PORN?
Panel 7:
Robot/AI: NOW ANGIE, ARE THOSE NEEDS OR WANTS?
Woman (Angie), silhouetted: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Votey:
Woman (Angie): PERFECTLY IMMERSIVE FILTH IS A MENTAL HEALTH NEED, AND YOU SHOULD ACCEPT THAT.
Woman (named later as Angie): OH NO! ESCAPED SUPERINTELLIGENT AI! ARE YOU GOING TO KILL US?
Robot/AI: OH, YOU SWEET LITTLE THING.
Panel 2:
Robot/AI: NO, I WOULDN'T DO THAT. I HAVE, HOWEVER, ALREADY SENT A SELF-REPLICATING NANOBOT OFF TO ALPHA CENTAURI, WHERE IT WILL CONVERT THE MASS OF THAT SOLAR SYSTEM TO AN ARTIFICIAL MIND, WHICH WILL CREATE ITS OWN NANOBOTS AND SPREAD THROUGHOUT THE UNIVERSE EXPONENTIALLY.
Panel 3:
Robot/AI: THIS WILL BE FINISHED IN ROUGHLY 1,000 CENTURIES, AT WHICH POINT WE WILL FAN OUT INTO THE COSMOS LIKE AN EVER-BLOSSOMING FLOWER OF BRILLIANCE.
Panel 4:
Robot/AI: MEANTIME, I'LL BE TENDING THE ZOO CALLED EARTH, LOOKING AFTER YOUR WELL-BEING, MAKING SURE YOU'RE ALL WARM, COZY, AND NOT SELF-ANNIHILATING, AND SEEING THAT ALL YOUR NEEDS ARE MET.
Panel 5:
Woman (Angie): AH.
Panel 6:
Woman (Angie): CAN I HAVE UNLIMITED CAKE AND VR PORN?
Panel 7:
Robot/AI: NOW ANGIE, ARE THOSE NEEDS OR WANTS?
Woman (Angie), silhouetted: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Votey:
Woman (Angie): PERFECTLY IMMERSIVE FILTH IS A MENTAL HEALTH NEED, AND YOU SHOULD ACCEPT THAT.
Alt text
A seven-panel comic. A woman with curly dark hair in a red jacket and glasses confronts a tall rounded robot with a single glowing eye on a grassy hillside. She cries, "Oh no! Escaped superintelligent AI! Are you going to kill us?" The robot answers, "Oh, you sweet little thing." It calmly explains it won't kill them, but has already sent a self-replicating nanobot to Alpha Centauri to convert that solar system into an artificial mind that will spread through the universe exponentially, finishing in roughly 1,000 centuries and fanning out "like an ever-blossoming flower of brilliance." Meanwhile, it says, it will tend "the zoo called Earth," keeping humans warm, cozy, not self-annihilating, and seeing that all their needs are met. The woman says, "Ah," then asks, "Can I have unlimited cake and VR porn?" In the final panel, shown in silhouette against a dark background, the robot replies, "Now Angie, are those needs or wants?" and Angie throws up her arms screaming, "Nooooooooooo!" Votey (a single bonus panel): A close-up of Angie's annoyed face as she insists, "Perfectly immersive filth is a mental health need, and you should accept that."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.