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probe-4

Original: probe-4 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

Panel 1:
Alien: STEVEN, WE HAVE CAPTURED YOU. IT IS TIME FOR YOUR PROBING.
Man (Steven): AAAAAH!

Panel 2:
Man (Steven): LOOK AT THAT THING! IT'S TOO SKINNY! IT'S NOT EVEN RIGGED!

Panel 3:
Man (Steven): THERE'S NO FLARE AT THE BASE TO KEEP IT FROM GETTING STUCK.

Panel 4:
Alien: THIS ISN'T AN INTERNAL PROBE. IT USES LIGHT PULSES.
Man (Steven): AAAAAH!

Votey:
Alien: YOU ARE SO ADVANCED, YET SO PRIMITIVE.
(The man hangs limply, restrained.)

Alt text

A four-panel black-and-white SMBC comic about an alien abduction. Panel 1: A green alien with large eyes tells a red-haired man, 'Steven, we have captured you. It is time for your probing.' The man screams 'AAAAAH!' Panel 2: The man, looking at an instrument, protests, 'Look at that thing! It's too skinny! It's not even rigged!' Panel 3: He continues critiquing it as a sex toy: 'There's no flare at the base to keep it from getting stuck.' Panel 4: The alien clarifies, 'This isn't an internal probe. It uses light pulses,' while the man keeps screaming 'AAAAAH!'. Votey panel: The alien, looking at the slumped, restrained man, deadpans into a large speech bubble: 'You are so advanced, yet so primitive.'

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.