boof
Original: boof on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: On a yellow background, Batman swoops in from the left. A bald masked mugger in a white tank top with a red bandana over his face yanks a purse from an elderly woman in glasses and a red blouse.
Elderly woman: HELP! THIEF!
Panel 2: Batman punches the mugger.
Sound effect: BOOF!
Panel 3: On a dark street, Batman stands beside the elderly woman, who clutches her recovered red purse.
Elderly woman: THANK YOU BATMAN! THAT CROOK WAS TRYING TO STEAL MY DRUGS!
Panel 4: Close on Batman and the woman.
Batman: LIKE OSTEOPOROSIS DRUGS?
Panel 5: The woman replies.
Elderly woman: CRACK.
Panel 6: Batman, deadpan.
Batman: CRACK COCAINE.
Panel 7: A younger woman (the mugger, now unmasked, with brown hair) looks annoyed; Batman gestures.
Younger woman: GOD, WHY MUST EVERYTHING IN MODERN LIFE BE A FRAUGHT MORAL CHOICE.
Batman: YOUR SMALL BATCH ORGANIC HABANERO AND TRUFFLE SEA SALT KALE CHIPS ARE MURDER, SALLY! THEY ARE MURDER!
Panel 8: The elderly woman sits holding her purse, looking up.
Panel 9: Close on Batman's bat-symbol chest.
Panel 10: The elderly woman speaks.
Elderly woman: PUREST WHITEST ICEBERG APPLE-JACK THIS HEMISPHERE.
Panel 11: A black panel, Batman in shadow.
Batman: HUH.
Panel 12: The elderly woman, now scowling and gritting her teeth.
Panel 13: A grim, shadowed close-up of Batman's masked face.
Panel 14 (silhouettes on black): Batman and the elderly woman face off in silhouette.
Elderly woman: TODAY'S LITTLE OLD LADIES GREW UP DURING HISTORICALLY HIGH RATES OF CRIME AND I WILL SHIV YOUR UNPROTECTED FACE IF YOU TAKE ONE MORE STEP TOWARD GRAMMY'S ROCK CANDY.
Votey:
A black-and-white panel. A frizzy-haired woman with glasses, sweating nervously, faces a tall dark figure (Batman) at the left edge.
Batman: GIMME YOUR WALLET.
Elderly woman: HELP! THIEF!
Panel 2: Batman punches the mugger.
Sound effect: BOOF!
Panel 3: On a dark street, Batman stands beside the elderly woman, who clutches her recovered red purse.
Elderly woman: THANK YOU BATMAN! THAT CROOK WAS TRYING TO STEAL MY DRUGS!
Panel 4: Close on Batman and the woman.
Batman: LIKE OSTEOPOROSIS DRUGS?
Panel 5: The woman replies.
Elderly woman: CRACK.
Panel 6: Batman, deadpan.
Batman: CRACK COCAINE.
Panel 7: A younger woman (the mugger, now unmasked, with brown hair) looks annoyed; Batman gestures.
Younger woman: GOD, WHY MUST EVERYTHING IN MODERN LIFE BE A FRAUGHT MORAL CHOICE.
Batman: YOUR SMALL BATCH ORGANIC HABANERO AND TRUFFLE SEA SALT KALE CHIPS ARE MURDER, SALLY! THEY ARE MURDER!
Panel 8: The elderly woman sits holding her purse, looking up.
Panel 9: Close on Batman's bat-symbol chest.
Panel 10: The elderly woman speaks.
Elderly woman: PUREST WHITEST ICEBERG APPLE-JACK THIS HEMISPHERE.
Panel 11: A black panel, Batman in shadow.
Batman: HUH.
Panel 12: The elderly woman, now scowling and gritting her teeth.
Panel 13: A grim, shadowed close-up of Batman's masked face.
Panel 14 (silhouettes on black): Batman and the elderly woman face off in silhouette.
Elderly woman: TODAY'S LITTLE OLD LADIES GREW UP DURING HISTORICALLY HIGH RATES OF CRIME AND I WILL SHIV YOUR UNPROTECTED FACE IF YOU TAKE ONE MORE STEP TOWARD GRAMMY'S ROCK CANDY.
Votey:
A black-and-white panel. A frizzy-haired woman with glasses, sweating nervously, faces a tall dark figure (Batman) at the left edge.
Batman: GIMME YOUR WALLET.
Alt text
A multi-panel SMBC comic. Batman swoops in and punches (BOOF!) a masked mugger who is robbing an elderly woman, who cries 'HELP! THIEF!' She thanks Batman, saying the crook was trying to steal her drugs. Batman asks 'Like osteoporosis drugs?' She answers 'Crack.' Batman: 'Crack cocaine.' The mugger, now unmasked as a young woman, complains that everything in modern life is a fraught moral choice, while Batman insists her 'small batch organic habanero and truffle sea salt kale chips are MURDER, Sally!' The old woman keeps naming illicit goods ('Purest whitest iceberg apple-jack this hemisphere'); Batman says 'Huh.' The scene turns dark and tense, and in silhouette the old woman threatens: 'Today's little old ladies grew up during historically high rates of crime and I will shiv your unprotected face if you take one more step toward Grammy's rock candy.' Votey: a sweating, nervous old woman faces the shadowy figure of Batman, who flatly demands, 'Gimme your wallet.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.