teleporter-4
Original: teleporter-4 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A red-uniformed officer (a man with orange hair) walks toward a transporter pad on a starship.
Red-uniformed officer: Wait, when you activate the teleporter, does it kill me?
Panel 2: A bald officer in a gold uniform stands at a console beside another crew member.
Bald officer: 100% sir, yes.
Panel 3: The red-uniformed officer.
Red-uniformed officer: So you're killing people all day long?
Panel 4: The bald officer.
Bald officer: Absolutely, sir.
Panel 5: The red-uniformed officer.
Red-uniformed officer: Isn't that unethical?
Panel 6: The bald officer answers from the console.
Bald officer: No. We ask teleportees to voluntarily carry a puppy into the machine. This makes them puppy-murderers, which allows us to explode them guilt-free.
Panel 7: The red-uniformed officer.
Red-uniformed officer: Ah.
Panel 8: The red-uniformed officer, satisfied.
Red-uniformed officer: Nice to know the logic checks out.
Panel 9: A silhouetted figure stands in a doorway addressing a kneeling figure, in shadow.
Figure in doorway: Please select a corgi and step into the plasmafier.
Votey: A framed photo / line drawing of a small fluffy corgi-like puppy standing and looking at the viewer with its tongue sticking out, displayed in a frame.
Red-uniformed officer: Wait, when you activate the teleporter, does it kill me?
Panel 2: A bald officer in a gold uniform stands at a console beside another crew member.
Bald officer: 100% sir, yes.
Panel 3: The red-uniformed officer.
Red-uniformed officer: So you're killing people all day long?
Panel 4: The bald officer.
Bald officer: Absolutely, sir.
Panel 5: The red-uniformed officer.
Red-uniformed officer: Isn't that unethical?
Panel 6: The bald officer answers from the console.
Bald officer: No. We ask teleportees to voluntarily carry a puppy into the machine. This makes them puppy-murderers, which allows us to explode them guilt-free.
Panel 7: The red-uniformed officer.
Red-uniformed officer: Ah.
Panel 8: The red-uniformed officer, satisfied.
Red-uniformed officer: Nice to know the logic checks out.
Panel 9: A silhouetted figure stands in a doorway addressing a kneeling figure, in shadow.
Figure in doorway: Please select a corgi and step into the plasmafier.
Votey: A framed photo / line drawing of a small fluffy corgi-like puppy standing and looking at the viewer with its tongue sticking out, displayed in a frame.
Alt text
A nine-panel black-line comic set on a Star Trek-style starship. An orange-haired officer in a red uniform walks toward a teleporter pad and asks a bald officer in gold at a console, 'Wait, when you activate the teleporter, does it kill me?' The bald officer replies, '100% sir, yes.' The red officer asks, 'So you're killing people all day long?' and gets, 'Absolutely, sir.' He asks, 'Isn't that unethical?' The bald officer explains, 'No. We ask teleportees to voluntarily carry a puppy into the machine. This makes them puppy-murderers, which allows us to explode them guilt-free.' The red officer says 'Ah,' then, satisfied, 'Nice to know the logic checks out.' In the final dark panel a silhouetted figure in a doorway tells a kneeling silhouette, 'Please select a corgi and step into the plasmafier.' Votey: a framed line-drawing portrait of a small fluffy corgi puppy standing with its tongue out, the unwitting victim.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.