sleep
Original: sleep on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
GOD (off-panel, from above): Why do we have sleep and dreams?
A red-haired woman (gesturing upward): Because real life is too intense.
Panel 2:
Woman: I mean, look! Hours and hours. So much you're alternately damaged by werewolves, having sex with hot vampires, falling from cliffs, showing up naked in classrooms, flying, drowning, having your teeth fall out for no reason... real life is so baffling and nonsensical and uncanny!
Panel 3:
Woman: So every day you sleep for about 16 hours and exist in a world where each instrument is basically the same as the last. Where people are mostly nice and you have a schedule that takes you minute by minute to what's for lunch.
Panel 4:
Woman (lying on the ground, exhausted): Are you fucking with me, God? I can't tell.
GOD (off-panel): In two seconds you're going to wake up and be even more confused.
Votey:
GOD (in a speech bubble, with a frowning face below): Heaven isn't worth putting up with this shit.
GOD (off-panel, from above): Why do we have sleep and dreams?
A red-haired woman (gesturing upward): Because real life is too intense.
Panel 2:
Woman: I mean, look! Hours and hours. So much you're alternately damaged by werewolves, having sex with hot vampires, falling from cliffs, showing up naked in classrooms, flying, drowning, having your teeth fall out for no reason... real life is so baffling and nonsensical and uncanny!
Panel 3:
Woman: So every day you sleep for about 16 hours and exist in a world where each instrument is basically the same as the last. Where people are mostly nice and you have a schedule that takes you minute by minute to what's for lunch.
Panel 4:
Woman (lying on the ground, exhausted): Are you fucking with me, God? I can't tell.
GOD (off-panel): In two seconds you're going to wake up and be even more confused.
Votey:
GOD (in a speech bubble, with a frowning face below): Heaven isn't worth putting up with this shit.
Alt text
A four-panel comic. A red-haired woman talks with God, whose voice comes from off-panel above. Panel 1: God asks why we have sleep and dreams; she answers that real life is too intense. Panel 2: She gestures emphatically, listing the bizarre things that happen in dreams — being damaged by werewolves, having sex with hot vampires, falling from cliffs, showing up naked in classrooms, flying, drowning, and teeth falling out for no reason — calling real life baffling, nonsensical, and uncanny. Panel 3: She says that instead you sleep about 16 hours a day and exist in a world where everything is basically the same, people are mostly nice, and a schedule carries you minute by minute toward lunch. Panel 4: She lies collapsed on the ground asking "Are you fucking with me, God? I can't tell," and God replies that in two seconds she'll wake up and be even more confused — the joke being that the woman's confused account has dreaming and waking life reversed. Votey: A grumpy frowning face below a speech bubble reading "Heaven isn't worth putting up with this shit."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.