watchmen
Original: watchmen on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title panel:
SECOND LEVEL ACCOUNTABILITY
ORDERED BY CREEPINESS:
Panel 1 (caption): WATCHING THE WATCHMEN
Two soldiers stand guard atop a stone castle wall, holding spears.
Panel 2 (caption): HEARING THE HEARMEN
A soldier cups his hand to his ear, leaning toward another soldier.
Soldier 1: DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?!
Soldier 2: I SAID SHUTUP SO I CAN LISTEN!
Panel 3 (caption): SMELLING THE SMELLMEN
Two soldiers lean in close, nose to nose, sniffing each other.
Soldier: CHRIST I HATE THIS JOB.
Panel 4 (caption): TOUCHING THE TOUCHMEN
One soldier grips another by the front of his armor, faces close.
Soldier 1: WHAT PURPOSE COULD THIS POSSIBLY SERVE?
Soldier 2: OH, SO YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN OVERSIGHT?
Panel 5 (caption): TASTING THE TASTEMEN
Two soldiers press their faces together, one licking/tasting the other.
Soldier: CHRIST, I MISS MY OLD JOB.
Votey:
Caption: PROPRIOCEPTING THE PROPRIOMEN
A woman stands with one hand on her hip; another person (in a speech bubble) says: I don't know what that is.
SECOND LEVEL ACCOUNTABILITY
ORDERED BY CREEPINESS:
Panel 1 (caption): WATCHING THE WATCHMEN
Two soldiers stand guard atop a stone castle wall, holding spears.
Panel 2 (caption): HEARING THE HEARMEN
A soldier cups his hand to his ear, leaning toward another soldier.
Soldier 1: DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?!
Soldier 2: I SAID SHUTUP SO I CAN LISTEN!
Panel 3 (caption): SMELLING THE SMELLMEN
Two soldiers lean in close, nose to nose, sniffing each other.
Soldier: CHRIST I HATE THIS JOB.
Panel 4 (caption): TOUCHING THE TOUCHMEN
One soldier grips another by the front of his armor, faces close.
Soldier 1: WHAT PURPOSE COULD THIS POSSIBLY SERVE?
Soldier 2: OH, SO YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN OVERSIGHT?
Panel 5 (caption): TASTING THE TASTEMEN
Two soldiers press their faces together, one licking/tasting the other.
Soldier: CHRIST, I MISS MY OLD JOB.
Votey:
Caption: PROPRIOCEPTING THE PROPRIOMEN
A woman stands with one hand on her hip; another person (in a speech bubble) says: I don't know what that is.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic titled "Second level accountability, ordered by creepiness." Each panel escalates the senses used to oversee a previous layer of guards. Panel 1, "Watching the Watchmen": two armored soldiers stand guard on a castle wall with spears. Panel 2, "Hearing the Hearmen": one soldier cups his ear toward another and says "Did you say something?!" The other replies "I said shutup so I can listen!" Panel 3, "Smelling the Smellmen": two soldiers lean in nose-to-nose, sniffing; one says "Christ I hate this job." Panel 4, "Touching the Touchmen": one soldier grabs another's armor; "What purpose could this possibly serve?" "Oh, so you don't believe in oversight?" Panel 5, "Tasting the Tastemen": two soldiers press faces together as one licks the other; "Christ, I miss my old job." The joke runs through the five senses, each layer of watchmen creepier than the last. Votey: a small panel titled "Propriocepting the Propriomen" shows a woman with a hand on her hip; another person says "I don't know what that is" — proprioception being the sixth, obscure sense.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.