virtual
Original: virtual on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man wearing a green VR headset, eyes closed, smiling blissfully.
Man (Ted): "...oh yes, oh, oh, oh that's nice."
Panel 2: A woman with blond hair appears in a doorway, looking concerned.
Woman: "TED! Are you in the VR suit again?"
Panel 3: Close on Ted in the headset, grimacing/embarrassed.
Ted: "Please don't look at the file. It's embarrassing."
Panel 4: The woman, now suited up in VR gear herself, gestures eagerly.
Woman: "You think I wanna see the weird shit you get up to?"
Panel 5: Caption box: "MOMENTS AGO..."
A virtual figure addresses Ted within the simulation.
Virtual figure: "Ted, we respect you. Your co-workers, family, friends, and children respect you, love you, and find your struggles meaningful."
Panel 6: Ted, in the VR simulation, presses his face into the embrace of the virtual figure, overcome with pleasure. A crowd of admiring people stands beside them.
Ted: "Oh yes. Oh god yes. Just like that."
Votey:
A man's head shown in profile, looking slightly sheepish.
Man: "God I always feel so gross after the emotional climax."
Man (Ted): "...oh yes, oh, oh, oh that's nice."
Panel 2: A woman with blond hair appears in a doorway, looking concerned.
Woman: "TED! Are you in the VR suit again?"
Panel 3: Close on Ted in the headset, grimacing/embarrassed.
Ted: "Please don't look at the file. It's embarrassing."
Panel 4: The woman, now suited up in VR gear herself, gestures eagerly.
Woman: "You think I wanna see the weird shit you get up to?"
Panel 5: Caption box: "MOMENTS AGO..."
A virtual figure addresses Ted within the simulation.
Virtual figure: "Ted, we respect you. Your co-workers, family, friends, and children respect you, love you, and find your struggles meaningful."
Panel 6: Ted, in the VR simulation, presses his face into the embrace of the virtual figure, overcome with pleasure. A crowd of admiring people stands beside them.
Ted: "Oh yes. Oh god yes. Just like that."
Votey:
A man's head shown in profile, looking slightly sheepish.
Man: "God I always feel so gross after the emotional climax."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A man named Ted lies back wearing a green VR headset, moaning blissfully: "...oh yes, oh, oh, oh that's nice." A blond woman appears in a doorway and asks, alarmed, "Ted! Are you in the VR suit again?" Ted, embarrassed behind the headset, pleads, "Please don't look at the file. It's embarrassing." The woman, now wearing her own VR gear, says eagerly, "You think I wanna see the weird shit you get up to?" A "MOMENTS AGO..." caption reveals what Ted was actually experiencing in the simulation: a virtual figure tells him, "Ted, we respect you. Your co-workers, family, friends, and children respect you, love you, and find your struggles meaningful." In the final panel Ted, surrounded by a crowd of admiring people, presses his face into the figure's embrace in ecstasy, gasping, "Oh yes. Oh god yes. Just like that." The joke: his secret VR indulgence is being respected and loved, framed exactly like a sexual encounter. Votey: a man in profile looking sheepish says, "God I always feel so gross after the emotional climax."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.