gods
Original: gods on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (praying): Dear terrible elk-god who rules land and stream, why do bad things happen to good people?
Panel 2:
Elk-God (a muscular monster with antlers, fangs, and shaggy green fur): Because cruelty pleases terrible elk-god who rules land and stream!
Panel 3:
Man (arms thrown up, walking away): Screw this! I'm gonna follow that new religion with an omnibenevolent creator deity!
Panel 4:
Man (praying again): Dear god of Abraham, why do bad things happen to good people?
Voice from above (in a speech bubble): None of your fucking business, that's why.
Votey:
A voice from above (large speech bubble over a small figure crouching/cowering below): In fact, because you asked? Locusts.
Man (praying): Dear terrible elk-god who rules land and stream, why do bad things happen to good people?
Panel 2:
Elk-God (a muscular monster with antlers, fangs, and shaggy green fur): Because cruelty pleases terrible elk-god who rules land and stream!
Panel 3:
Man (arms thrown up, walking away): Screw this! I'm gonna follow that new religion with an omnibenevolent creator deity!
Panel 4:
Man (praying again): Dear god of Abraham, why do bad things happen to good people?
Voice from above (in a speech bubble): None of your fucking business, that's why.
Votey:
A voice from above (large speech bubble over a small figure crouching/cowering below): In fact, because you asked? Locusts.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A bearded man kneels in prayer and asks, "Dear terrible elk-god who rules land and stream, why do bad things happen to good people?" Panel 2: A hulking green-furred elk-god with antlers and fangs flexes and bellows, "Because cruelty pleases terrible elk-god who rules land and stream!" Panel 3: The man throws up his arms and storms off, saying, "Screw this! I'm gonna follow that new religion with an omnibenevolent creator deity!" Panel 4: The same man now prays to a different god and asks, "Dear god of Abraham, why do bad things happen to good people?" A speech bubble from above replies, "None of your fucking business, that's why." Votey: A small figure cowers on the ground while a large speech bubble looms from above, adding, "In fact, because you asked? Locusts."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.