moat
Original: moat on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Customer (a man with red, flame-like hair): I'd like to withdraw some money from my— what's with the fire?
Panel 2:
Banker (a person in a dark blazer over a pink shirt, seated at a desk): Oh, that. In order to prevent a bank run, we transferred all physical assets and banking information to a single warehouse surrounded by a great ring of flames.
Panel 3:
Customer: So can I get my money out?
Banker (speech bubble over a silhouette of a flaming building with tiny figures standing before it): Absolutely— anyone willing to walk through THE MOAT OF ENDLESS CONFLAGRATION can have their assets at will.
Panel 4 (the customer looks worried):
Caption/Banker: The old system was the gradual consolidation of all wealth in a tiny number of banks that were so large that they could demand their failures be subsidized by threatening average citizens with crisis.
Panel 5:
Customer (frowning): Maybe add some
Panel 6:
Customer: sharks around the moat? And spikes?
Votey:
Banker (smiling): We can avoid a hostile takeover by putting the heads of foes on great pikes!
Customer (a man with red, flame-like hair): I'd like to withdraw some money from my— what's with the fire?
Panel 2:
Banker (a person in a dark blazer over a pink shirt, seated at a desk): Oh, that. In order to prevent a bank run, we transferred all physical assets and banking information to a single warehouse surrounded by a great ring of flames.
Panel 3:
Customer: So can I get my money out?
Banker (speech bubble over a silhouette of a flaming building with tiny figures standing before it): Absolutely— anyone willing to walk through THE MOAT OF ENDLESS CONFLAGRATION can have their assets at will.
Panel 4 (the customer looks worried):
Caption/Banker: The old system was the gradual consolidation of all wealth in a tiny number of banks that were so large that they could demand their failures be subsidized by threatening average citizens with crisis.
Panel 5:
Customer (frowning): Maybe add some
Panel 6:
Customer: sharks around the moat? And spikes?
Votey:
Banker (smiling): We can avoid a hostile takeover by putting the heads of foes on great pikes!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired man at a bank notices the building is on fire. A banker explains that to prevent a bank run, they transferred all physical assets and banking information to a single warehouse surrounded by a great ring of flames. When the man asks if he can get his money out, the banker cheerfully says absolutely—anyone willing to walk through 'THE MOAT OF ENDLESS CONFLAGRATION' can have their assets at will (shown as a silhouetted burning building with tiny people before it). A caption frames this as an upgrade over the old system, in which a few banks grew so large they could demand bailouts by threatening citizens with crisis. The man, looking worried, suggests they 'maybe add some sharks around the moat? And spikes?' Votey: the banker grins and adds, 'We can avoid a hostile takeover by putting the heads of foes on great pikes!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.