milton
Original: milton on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (an editor, gesturing): LOOK, MILTON, YOU HAVE TO CUT THE PART OF PARADISE LOST WHERE SATAN IS KICKED TO HELL, MASSES HIS ARMIES, REFUSES TO YIELD, BUILDS A PANDEMONIAC THRONE AND SETS HIMSELF CLOSEST TO HEAVEN SO HE WILL ENDURE MORE AFFLICTION THAN HIS WICKED SERVANTS.
Panel 2:
Milton (a bearded man, John Milton): WHY?
Woman: IT MAKES SATAN LOOK AWESOME! LATER GOD COMES IN AND HE'S LIKE THE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL!
Panel 3:
Milton: WHAT ABOUT THE BURSTING FLAMES AND DARK LIGHTNING AND STUFF?
Woman (off-panel): NO! NONE OF THAT!
Panel 4 (silent): The woman stands with hands on hips facing Milton, who has slumped over his desk in dejection.
Panel 5:
Milton (slumped at his desk): I WAS THINKING OF GIVING SATAN ONE OF THOSE TWO-HEADED GUITARS AND MAYBE LEATHER PANTS WITH A HUGE COD SO PEOPLE WOULD KNOW HE DOES NOT WALK WITH THE LORD.
Woman (off-panel): NO, MILTON! BAD MILTON!
Votey:
A goat reading a book, with a speech bubble: I LOVE THIS THING!
Woman (an editor, gesturing): LOOK, MILTON, YOU HAVE TO CUT THE PART OF PARADISE LOST WHERE SATAN IS KICKED TO HELL, MASSES HIS ARMIES, REFUSES TO YIELD, BUILDS A PANDEMONIAC THRONE AND SETS HIMSELF CLOSEST TO HEAVEN SO HE WILL ENDURE MORE AFFLICTION THAN HIS WICKED SERVANTS.
Panel 2:
Milton (a bearded man, John Milton): WHY?
Woman: IT MAKES SATAN LOOK AWESOME! LATER GOD COMES IN AND HE'S LIKE THE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL!
Panel 3:
Milton: WHAT ABOUT THE BURSTING FLAMES AND DARK LIGHTNING AND STUFF?
Woman (off-panel): NO! NONE OF THAT!
Panel 4 (silent): The woman stands with hands on hips facing Milton, who has slumped over his desk in dejection.
Panel 5:
Milton (slumped at his desk): I WAS THINKING OF GIVING SATAN ONE OF THOSE TWO-HEADED GUITARS AND MAYBE LEATHER PANTS WITH A HUGE COD SO PEOPLE WOULD KNOW HE DOES NOT WALK WITH THE LORD.
Woman (off-panel): NO, MILTON! BAD MILTON!
Votey:
A goat reading a book, with a speech bubble: I LOVE THIS THING!
Alt text
A five-panel comic set in what looks like a publishing office. An editor (a woman) is critiquing the poet John Milton, a bearded man at a desk. Panel 1: She says, 'Look, Milton, you have to cut the part of Paradise Lost where Satan is kicked to Hell, masses his armies, refuses to yield, builds a pandemoniac throne and sets himself closest to Heaven so he will endure more affliction than his wicked servants.' Panel 2: Milton asks 'Why?' and she answers, 'It makes Satan look awesome! Later God comes in and he's like the school principal!' Panel 3: Milton asks about 'the bursting flames and dark lightning and stuff?' and she snaps, 'No! None of that!' Panel 4: Wordless beat -- the editor stands with hands on hips while a dejected Milton slumps over his desk. Panel 5: Still slumped, Milton offers, 'I was thinking of giving Satan one of those two-headed guitars and maybe leather pants with a huge cod so people would know he does not walk with the Lord.' She scolds, 'No, Milton! Bad Milton!' -- treating the great poet like a misbehaving pet. Votey: A goat happily reading a book, saying 'I love this thing!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.