three
Original: three on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Scientist (a green alien-like figure presenting beside a shadowed silhouette): STEVE! BEHOLD! WE HAVE CREATED THIS IDEAL FEMALE!
Panel 2:
Steve (a shirtless blond man with electrode patches on his chest): WHAT THE... WHY DOES SHE HAVE THREE BOOBS?
Scientist: BECAUSE THREE IS BIGGER THAN TWO!
Panel 3:
Steve: THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS. YOU CAN ADJUST BOOB SIZE UP OR DOWN WITHIN A RANGE OF VALUES, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE DISCRETE QUANTITY JUMPS. THAT'S PERCEIVED AS UNCANNY AND WEIRD.
Panel 4:
Scientist: HMM.
Scientist: WE MAY HAVE BEEN MISLED BY ANOTHER AREA OF THE HUMAN BREEDING PROGRAM.
Panel 5 (silent): The green alien figure looks pensive, hand to chin. Beside it, Steve looks down at the electrodes/scars on his chest.
Panel 6 (caption banner): EARLIER...
Scientist (off to the side): SALLY! BEHOLD! WE HAVE CREATED THIS GUY WITH TWO DONGS!
Final panel:
Sally (a red-haired woman, shirtless, with an electrode patch on her arm): GIMME! GIMME ONE OF THOSE!
Sally: WOOHOO!
The green alien figure points enthusiastically toward a shadowed silhouette of the two-donged man.
Votey:
Text in a speech bubble (spoken by the off-panel figure being pointed at): TWO IS MORE THAN ONE!
Below, a rough sketch of a face looking dismayed/uncertain, with a small bead of sweat.
Scientist (a green alien-like figure presenting beside a shadowed silhouette): STEVE! BEHOLD! WE HAVE CREATED THIS IDEAL FEMALE!
Panel 2:
Steve (a shirtless blond man with electrode patches on his chest): WHAT THE... WHY DOES SHE HAVE THREE BOOBS?
Scientist: BECAUSE THREE IS BIGGER THAN TWO!
Panel 3:
Steve: THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS. YOU CAN ADJUST BOOB SIZE UP OR DOWN WITHIN A RANGE OF VALUES, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE DISCRETE QUANTITY JUMPS. THAT'S PERCEIVED AS UNCANNY AND WEIRD.
Panel 4:
Scientist: HMM.
Scientist: WE MAY HAVE BEEN MISLED BY ANOTHER AREA OF THE HUMAN BREEDING PROGRAM.
Panel 5 (silent): The green alien figure looks pensive, hand to chin. Beside it, Steve looks down at the electrodes/scars on his chest.
Panel 6 (caption banner): EARLIER...
Scientist (off to the side): SALLY! BEHOLD! WE HAVE CREATED THIS GUY WITH TWO DONGS!
Final panel:
Sally (a red-haired woman, shirtless, with an electrode patch on her arm): GIMME! GIMME ONE OF THOSE!
Sally: WOOHOO!
The green alien figure points enthusiastically toward a shadowed silhouette of the two-donged man.
Votey:
Text in a speech bubble (spoken by the off-panel figure being pointed at): TWO IS MORE THAN ONE!
Below, a rough sketch of a face looking dismayed/uncertain, with a small bead of sweat.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic about discrete versus continuous changes in body design. A green alien scientist proudly presents a creation to a shirtless blond man with chest electrodes named Steve: "Steve! Behold! We have created this ideal female!" Steve asks why she has three boobs, and the scientist explains, "Because three is bigger than two!" Steve corrects it: you can adjust boob size up or down within a range, but you can't make discrete quantity jumps, that's perceived as uncanny and weird. The scientist muses "Hmm... we may have been misled by another area of the human breeding program." A flashback caption reads "Earlier..." and shows the scientist excitedly presenting to a red-haired woman: "Sally! Behold! We have created this guy with two dongs!" Sally enthusiastically responds "Gimme! Gimme one of those! Woohoo!" The joke: a woman cheering for two of one body part led the aliens to wrongly conclude humans always want more in discrete counts. Votey aftercomic: a sketchy face with a sweat bead and a speech bubble reading "Two is more than one!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.