personality
Original: personality on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Bald man: I'm sorry, we have to break up. You don't have enough personality for me.
Woman: Enough personality?
Panel 2:
Bald man: Personality can be objectively quantified by determining how little training data and computing power are required to emulate someone with perfect fidelity.
Panel 3:
The bald man holds out a tablet showing a chart to the woman.
Bald man: Here's your score. You can see it required as much compute as a laptop from the 80s.
Panel 4:
The woman looks at the tablet.
Bald man: The computer eventually refused to even use neural networks. Your entire self can be instantiated via a list of Simpsons quotes and opinions about Star Wars gotten from Reddit.
Panel 5 (silhouettes of the two figures at a table):
Woman: Worst breakup ever.
Bald man: It's all right, I know this is how you communicate.
Votey:
A loose sketch of a person's face, crying, with a small speech bubble.
Person: doh.
Bald man: I'm sorry, we have to break up. You don't have enough personality for me.
Woman: Enough personality?
Panel 2:
Bald man: Personality can be objectively quantified by determining how little training data and computing power are required to emulate someone with perfect fidelity.
Panel 3:
The bald man holds out a tablet showing a chart to the woman.
Bald man: Here's your score. You can see it required as much compute as a laptop from the 80s.
Panel 4:
The woman looks at the tablet.
Bald man: The computer eventually refused to even use neural networks. Your entire self can be instantiated via a list of Simpsons quotes and opinions about Star Wars gotten from Reddit.
Panel 5 (silhouettes of the two figures at a table):
Woman: Worst breakup ever.
Bald man: It's all right, I know this is how you communicate.
Votey:
A loose sketch of a person's face, crying, with a small speech bubble.
Person: doh.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. A bald man in a suit breaks up with a woman, telling her she doesn't have "enough personality" for him. He explains that personality can be objectively quantified by how little training data and computing power are needed to emulate someone with perfect fidelity. He shows her a tablet with a chart of her "score," saying it only required as much compute as a 1980s laptop, and that her entire self could be instantiated from a list of Simpsons quotes and Reddit opinions about Star Wars. In the final panel, shown as silhouettes at a table, she says "Worst breakup ever," and he replies, "It's all right, I know this is how you communicate." Votey: a rough sketch of a crying person's face with a tiny speech bubble reading "doh."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.