finite
Original: finite on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Man with flame-like hair: "Dear God, why shouldn't I sin all day long?"
Panel 2
God: "But the action isn't finite! Suppose I go out tonight and do butt stuff with two dudes."
Man: "Okay."
Panel 3
God: "That butt stuff is indelible in the history of the universe!"
Panel 4
God: "It abides in the fact of eternity! It always is in the past! It's infinite, for ever and ever, because I will bring it to mind -- it will be my present whenever I choose!"
Panel 5
Man: "Oh yeah! Well, I'm God so I can erase it from history."
God: "Sure, but then you've erased my sin and I go straight to heaven."
Panel 6
God: "Either you admit that sins are infinitely enjoyable and therefore balance eternity in hell, or you admit that sins can be erased, making hell-causing sins themselves merely a finite, just-thing enjoyable finite sins!"
Man: "Checkmate, God! Check and mate."
Panel 7 (LATER)
A figure (God) with arms raised: "And that's when I gave him dick leprosy."
Man with flame-like hair: "Dear God, why shouldn't I sin all day long?"
Panel 2
God: "But the action isn't finite! Suppose I go out tonight and do butt stuff with two dudes."
Man: "Okay."
Panel 3
God: "That butt stuff is indelible in the history of the universe!"
Panel 4
God: "It abides in the fact of eternity! It always is in the past! It's infinite, for ever and ever, because I will bring it to mind -- it will be my present whenever I choose!"
Panel 5
Man: "Oh yeah! Well, I'm God so I can erase it from history."
God: "Sure, but then you've erased my sin and I go straight to heaven."
Panel 6
God: "Either you admit that sins are infinitely enjoyable and therefore balance eternity in hell, or you admit that sins can be erased, making hell-causing sins themselves merely a finite, just-thing enjoyable finite sins!"
Man: "Checkmate, God! Check and mate."
Panel 7 (LATER)
A figure (God) with arms raised: "And that's when I gave him dick leprosy."
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A man with flame-like spiky hair argues theology with a casually dressed figure standing in for God. Panel 1: The man asks God why he shouldn't sin all day long. Panel 2: God proposes a hypothetical about going out and doing 'butt stuff with two dudes'; the man says okay. Panels 3-4: God argues that the act is indelible and infinite because it abides in eternity and can be recalled to mind at any time. Panel 5: The man counters that, being God, he can erase it from history; God replies that erasing the sin sends him straight to heaven. Panel 6: God lays out a logical dilemma -- either sins are infinitely enjoyable (balancing eternal hell) or sins can be erased (making them finite) -- and the man triumphantly declares 'Checkmate, God! Check and mate.' Final panel, labeled LATER: a figure with arms raised says, 'And that's when I gave him dick leprosy.' Votey (aftercomic): a plain panel with only the text '(The last panel is technically good for the ending of any comic)'.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.