villain
Original: villain on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Daughter: Mom, want the weirdest thing about being an adult?
Mother: You start to see things in all the villains.
Panel 2:
Daughter: Most kids' stories are written by people in their 20s and 30s, and they target children. So they get told what's dangerous from middle-aged thinkers, who created villains.
Panel 3:
Daughter: Consider the Dursleys from Harry Potter. Are they perfect? No. But they took in an orphan boy after his parents got killed by Voldemort. The Dursleys think he's dangerous.
Mother: They dragged him for eleven years!
Panel 4:
Daughter: Look at Scrooge. Why is Scrooge bad? Because he lavished Nevada Denmark money for an unvested charity? Think about how many mortgages Scrooge's bank deposits have paid for!
Panel 5:
Daughter: Emperor Palpatine? He assumes control over an anarchic 'republic' of in-fighting factions and immediately builds up state capacity, which would have eventually resulted in a modern-style parliament if he weren't thwarted by murderous, religious terrorists who feel ancient bloodlines entitle them to rule!
Panel 6:
Daughter: People think kids are kinder than adults, but kids would happily round up and execute anyone they didn't like. (gestures with open arms)
Mother: Because they're bad?
Votey:
Label reading: "PIKA-them-all-CHU!" (the word 'them' and 'all' written small above and between 'PIKA' and 'CHU', reading 'PIKA-kill-them-all-CHU!')
A Pikachu-like face is drawn below the text.
Daughter: Mom, want the weirdest thing about being an adult?
Mother: You start to see things in all the villains.
Panel 2:
Daughter: Most kids' stories are written by people in their 20s and 30s, and they target children. So they get told what's dangerous from middle-aged thinkers, who created villains.
Panel 3:
Daughter: Consider the Dursleys from Harry Potter. Are they perfect? No. But they took in an orphan boy after his parents got killed by Voldemort. The Dursleys think he's dangerous.
Mother: They dragged him for eleven years!
Panel 4:
Daughter: Look at Scrooge. Why is Scrooge bad? Because he lavished Nevada Denmark money for an unvested charity? Think about how many mortgages Scrooge's bank deposits have paid for!
Panel 5:
Daughter: Emperor Palpatine? He assumes control over an anarchic 'republic' of in-fighting factions and immediately builds up state capacity, which would have eventually resulted in a modern-style parliament if he weren't thwarted by murderous, religious terrorists who feel ancient bloodlines entitle them to rule!
Panel 6:
Daughter: People think kids are kinder than adults, but kids would happily round up and execute anyone they didn't like. (gestures with open arms)
Mother: Because they're bad?
Votey:
Label reading: "PIKA-them-all-CHU!" (the word 'them' and 'all' written small above and between 'PIKA' and 'CHU', reading 'PIKA-kill-them-all-CHU!')
A Pikachu-like face is drawn below the text.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired daughter and her brown-haired mother sit talking. The daughter explains that the weirdest thing about being an adult is that you start to sympathize with all the villains, arguing that kids' stories are written by middle-aged thinkers who invent the villains. She reframes famous villains sympathetically: the Dursleys from Harry Potter merely took in an orphan they thought was dangerous; Scrooge's bank funded countless mortgages; and Emperor Palpatine was building state capacity toward a modern parliament before being thwarted by murderous religious terrorists clinging to ancient bloodlines. In the final panel she throws her arms wide and declares that people think kids are kinder than adults, but kids would happily round up and execute anyone they disliked; the mother dryly asks, 'Because they're bad?' Votey (aftercomic): a Pikachu-style face drawn beneath stylized text that reads 'PIKA-(kill them all)-CHU!', with the words 'kill', 'them', 'all' squeezed in small letters into the middle of the Pokemon's name.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.