bat-problems
Original: bat-problems on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A close-up of a Batman-like superhero in a cowl, speaking earnestly.
Batman: "I took on the form of a bat to strike terror into the hearts of criminals."
Panel 2: The Batman figure continues, looking slightly downcast.
Batman: "But over the last twenty years, respect for batman has become a standard value in kids' television."
Panel 3: Batman, now older and grey-haired with a beard, sits among a group of elderly people.
Batman: "Those kids are grown up now."
Panel 4: Batman, embarrassed, holds his head in his hand. Another elderly figure beside him reacts.
Batman: "And I'm too embarrassed to keep doing my job."
Other elderly figure: "How? How? You malt as a giant goddamn flying fox, with a wingspan of up to 1.5 meters!"
Batman (shouting): "Aaaah! It's a goddamned bat!"
Votey:
A hand-drawn line graph on white. The horizontal axis is labeled "time" and the vertical axis region is labeled "fear among kids." Two crossing curves: one labeled "bats" starts high on the left and declines toward the lower right; one labeled "clowns" starts low on the left and rises steeply toward the upper right. The two lines form an X, showing fear of bats falling over time while fear of clowns rises.
Batman: "I took on the form of a bat to strike terror into the hearts of criminals."
Panel 2: The Batman figure continues, looking slightly downcast.
Batman: "But over the last twenty years, respect for batman has become a standard value in kids' television."
Panel 3: Batman, now older and grey-haired with a beard, sits among a group of elderly people.
Batman: "Those kids are grown up now."
Panel 4: Batman, embarrassed, holds his head in his hand. Another elderly figure beside him reacts.
Batman: "And I'm too embarrassed to keep doing my job."
Other elderly figure: "How? How? You malt as a giant goddamn flying fox, with a wingspan of up to 1.5 meters!"
Batman (shouting): "Aaaah! It's a goddamned bat!"
Votey:
A hand-drawn line graph on white. The horizontal axis is labeled "time" and the vertical axis region is labeled "fear among kids." Two crossing curves: one labeled "bats" starts high on the left and declines toward the lower right; one labeled "clowns" starts low on the left and rises steeply toward the upper right. The two lines form an X, showing fear of bats falling over time while fear of clowns rises.
Alt text
Four-panel comic. A Batman-like caped hero in a cowl explains that he took the form of a bat to strike terror into criminals, but over the last twenty years respect for Batman has become a standard, wholesome value in kids' television. In panel three he is now elderly, grey-bearded, sitting among other old people, saying those kids are grown up now and he is too embarrassed to keep doing his job. An elderly companion challenges him: how, when you molt as a giant goddamn flying fox with a wingspan of up to 1.5 meters! Batman recoils in horror, shouting "Aaaah! It's a goddamned bat!" The joke: a real giant fruit bat is terrifying, but the Batman costume has lost all its scariness. Votey: a hand-drawn X-shaped line graph with axes labeled 'time' (horizontal) and 'fear among kids' (vertical). A declining curve labeled 'bats' crosses a rising curve labeled 'clowns', showing that over time kids fear bats less and clowns more.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.