mind-3
Original: mind-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A father (a balding man in glasses) sits in an armchair talking to his adult son, who leans on the chair.
Father: Dad was my age. Old people get absent-minded.
Father: Over time, you lose larger portions of the neocortex. The decision to engage exclusively in winning arguments with news commentators... I'm actually doing this right now!
Panel 2:
The father, eyes closed, calm.
Father: By middle age, you'll begin noticing scattered mumbling.
Father (mumbling): Mmmuh... yeah uh, no you say are grumbling part of the war? Or just gggggrrrhh.
Panel 3:
The son responds.
Son: So old age, yelling at screens and completely replacing the internal monologue?
Father: That proves nothing! Allison! Nothing!
Panel 4:
The father, leaning his head on his hand.
Father: At last, brain regions responsible for vital functions like breathing and cardiac function are commandeered to make accurately simulate ideological opponents flushed and ashamed silence.
Father: The sorry he is no longer alive that final brain stem serves no known purpose.
Panel 5:
The son leans down toward the father.
Son: Is there any way to stop it?
Father: In theory it can be slowed by fast-acting 24/7 news analysis, but nobody's willing to test that on human adults.
A father (a balding man in glasses) sits in an armchair talking to his adult son, who leans on the chair.
Father: Dad was my age. Old people get absent-minded.
Father: Over time, you lose larger portions of the neocortex. The decision to engage exclusively in winning arguments with news commentators... I'm actually doing this right now!
Panel 2:
The father, eyes closed, calm.
Father: By middle age, you'll begin noticing scattered mumbling.
Father (mumbling): Mmmuh... yeah uh, no you say are grumbling part of the war? Or just gggggrrrhh.
Panel 3:
The son responds.
Son: So old age, yelling at screens and completely replacing the internal monologue?
Father: That proves nothing! Allison! Nothing!
Panel 4:
The father, leaning his head on his hand.
Father: At last, brain regions responsible for vital functions like breathing and cardiac function are commandeered to make accurately simulate ideological opponents flushed and ashamed silence.
Father: The sorry he is no longer alive that final brain stem serves no known purpose.
Panel 5:
The son leans down toward the father.
Son: Is there any way to stop it?
Father: In theory it can be slowed by fast-acting 24/7 news analysis, but nobody's willing to test that on human adults.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. A balding man in glasses sits in an armchair lecturing his adult son about the decline of the brain with age. He explains that over time you lose portions of the neocortex, dedicating yourself entirely to winning arguments with news commentators, and notes he is doing exactly that right now. He describes the progression: scattered mumbling in middle age, then yelling at screens and replacing one's internal monologue, until finally brain regions for breathing and heartbeat are commandeered to imagine ideological opponents in flushed, ashamed silence, leaving the brainstem with no known purpose. The son asks if there's any way to stop it; the father replies it could theoretically be slowed by fast-acting 24/7 news analysis, but nobody is willing to test that on human adults.
Votey: A small girl looks up worriedly at a large speech bubble emerging from off-panel that reads "WHAT'RE YOU DOING?" and "MAKING AN ANGRY FACEBOOK POST ABOUT YOU."
Votey: A small girl looks up worriedly at a large speech bubble emerging from off-panel that reads "WHAT'RE YOU DOING?" and "MAKING AN ANGRY FACEBOOK POST ABOUT YOU."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.