drugs-3
Original: drugs-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Drug dealer (a man in a dark cap and coat): HEY! YO! YOU WANNA BUY SOME DRUGS?
Panel 2:
Customer (a young person with orange hair): I DON'T MEAN TO TELL YOU YOUR BUSINESS, BUT THE AVERAGE 9 YEAR OLD HAS A NET WORTH OF ZERO AND IS UNEMPLOYED. ARE WE REALLY YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE FOR BLACK MARKET SUBSTANCES?
Panel 3:
Drug dealer: WHO SHOULD I MARKET TO?
Panel 4:
Customer: YUPPIE MOMS WHO WANT THE EXPERIENCE OF DRUGS, MINUS THE STIGMA, PLUS UNPROVABLE HEALTH CLAIMS.
Panel 5:
Drug dealer (approaching a woman): HEY LADY, YOU WANNA BUY SOME CBD KALE CUPS?
Panel 6:
Woman: DO THEY ELIMINATE TOXINS?
Panel 7:
Drug dealer (now wearing sunglasses): SO HARD
Votey:
The drug dealer, wearing a hat and glasses, grins and adds: IT WAS PRODUCED IN AN INEFFICIENT AND LABOR-INTENSIVE MANNER BY AUTHENTIC POOR PEOPLE!
Drug dealer (a man in a dark cap and coat): HEY! YO! YOU WANNA BUY SOME DRUGS?
Panel 2:
Customer (a young person with orange hair): I DON'T MEAN TO TELL YOU YOUR BUSINESS, BUT THE AVERAGE 9 YEAR OLD HAS A NET WORTH OF ZERO AND IS UNEMPLOYED. ARE WE REALLY YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE FOR BLACK MARKET SUBSTANCES?
Panel 3:
Drug dealer: WHO SHOULD I MARKET TO?
Panel 4:
Customer: YUPPIE MOMS WHO WANT THE EXPERIENCE OF DRUGS, MINUS THE STIGMA, PLUS UNPROVABLE HEALTH CLAIMS.
Panel 5:
Drug dealer (approaching a woman): HEY LADY, YOU WANNA BUY SOME CBD KALE CUPS?
Panel 6:
Woman: DO THEY ELIMINATE TOXINS?
Panel 7:
Drug dealer (now wearing sunglasses): SO HARD
Votey:
The drug dealer, wearing a hat and glasses, grins and adds: IT WAS PRODUCED IN AN INEFFICIENT AND LABOR-INTENSIVE MANNER BY AUTHENTIC POOR PEOPLE!
Alt text
A seven-panel comic. A shady drug dealer in a dark cap and coat approaches a young orange-haired person and asks if they want to buy some drugs. The young person points out that the average 9-year-old has a net worth of zero and is unemployed, questioning whether kids are really the target audience for black-market substances. The dealer asks who he should market to instead. The customer advises: yuppie moms who want the experience of drugs, minus the stigma, plus unprovable health claims. The dealer then approaches a woman and pitches CBD kale cups; she asks whether they eliminate toxins, and the dealer (now wearing sunglasses to look the part) replies SO HARD. Votey aftercomic: the dealer, in a hat and glasses, grins and adds the wellness sales pitch: IT WAS PRODUCED IN AN INEFFICIENT AND LABOR-INTENSIVE MANNER BY AUTHENTIC POOR PEOPLE!
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.