hey-girl
Original: hey-girl on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A blond man in a suit (at a bar/party) to a woman in a red dress:
Man: "Hey girl, if I told you you had a beautiful body, would you one day, in my old age, when my mind and arms have grown soft, would you be there to respect me? To tell me that where I have been hurt I've grown strong, that I have stories worth the listen, that the project of survival hasn't just been the swerve of atoms in an insouciant void?"
Panel 2:
Woman: "Nope. We are all chemistry calling itself biology. Yeast in a puddle of sugar unaware that its strivings are both the meaning of its existence and the mode of its undoing."
Panel 3:
Man: "Wanna go halfsies on a gallon of vodka and drink until we try to have sex and fail?"
Woman: "Let it be so, stranger. Let it be so."
Panel 4:
The man looks pleased; the woman gazes at him. (No dialogue.)
Votey:
Caption (handwritten): "Of course the girl is Susie Derkins, but they don't notice the connection till the morning after."
A blond man in a suit (at a bar/party) to a woman in a red dress:
Man: "Hey girl, if I told you you had a beautiful body, would you one day, in my old age, when my mind and arms have grown soft, would you be there to respect me? To tell me that where I have been hurt I've grown strong, that I have stories worth the listen, that the project of survival hasn't just been the swerve of atoms in an insouciant void?"
Panel 2:
Woman: "Nope. We are all chemistry calling itself biology. Yeast in a puddle of sugar unaware that its strivings are both the meaning of its existence and the mode of its undoing."
Panel 3:
Man: "Wanna go halfsies on a gallon of vodka and drink until we try to have sex and fail?"
Woman: "Let it be so, stranger. Let it be so."
Panel 4:
The man looks pleased; the woman gazes at him. (No dialogue.)
Votey:
Caption (handwritten): "Of course the girl is Susie Derkins, but they don't notice the connection till the morning after."
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic set at a bar or party. A blond man in a dark suit chats up a woman in a red dress. He delivers an absurdly grandiose pickup line: "Hey girl, if I told you you had a beautiful body, would you one day, in my old age, when my mind and arms have grown soft, would you be there to respect me? ...that the project of survival hasn't just been the swerve of atoms in an insouciant void?" She flatly replies, "Nope. We are all chemistry calling itself biology. Yeast in a puddle of sugar unaware that its strivings are both the meaning of its existence and the mode of its undoing." Undeterred, he asks, "Wanna go halfsies on a gallon of vodka and drink until we try to have sex and fail?" She answers, "Let it be so, stranger. Let it be so." The final panel shows the two looking at each other, the deal struck. The joke: two nihilists trade lofty philosophical despair and find romance in bleak, doomed-from-the-start hookup plans. Votey aftercomic: a handwritten caption reading "Of course the girl is Susie Derkins, but they don't notice the connection till the morning after." — a callback joke implying these two are grown-up versions of characters who knew each other as kids (Susie Derkins from Calvin and Hobbes).
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.