tube
Original: tube on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Interviewer (a woman with glasses and dark hair, in a maroon blazer): WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS?
Panel 2:
Applicant (a bald man in a suit): AS A SORT OF COMPLEX TUBE THAT MOVES THROUGH THE WORLD, ENCOUNTERING NUTRIENTS WHICH IT USES TO REPAIR THE TUBE FOR AS LONG AS IT CAN UNTIL THE TUBE FALLS APART.
Panel 3:
Interviewer: AND WHY DO YOU WANT TO WORK HERE?
Applicant: BETTER NUTRIENTS TO SUSTAIN THE TUBE. IMPROVE THE TUBE. FIND WOMAN-TUBE AND BREED MORE TUBES.
Panel 4:
Interviewer: WOW, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY MISTER JANSEN.
Applicant: ALL IS STRUGGLE AND DEATH.
Votey:
Interviewer: I THINK WE HAVE A SPOT FOR YOU IN HUMAN RESOURCES.
Interviewer (a woman with glasses and dark hair, in a maroon blazer): WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS?
Panel 2:
Applicant (a bald man in a suit): AS A SORT OF COMPLEX TUBE THAT MOVES THROUGH THE WORLD, ENCOUNTERING NUTRIENTS WHICH IT USES TO REPAIR THE TUBE FOR AS LONG AS IT CAN UNTIL THE TUBE FALLS APART.
Panel 3:
Interviewer: AND WHY DO YOU WANT TO WORK HERE?
Applicant: BETTER NUTRIENTS TO SUSTAIN THE TUBE. IMPROVE THE TUBE. FIND WOMAN-TUBE AND BREED MORE TUBES.
Panel 4:
Interviewer: WOW, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY MISTER JANSEN.
Applicant: ALL IS STRUGGLE AND DEATH.
Votey:
Interviewer: I THINK WE HAVE A SPOT FOR YOU IN HUMAN RESOURCES.
Alt text
A four-panel comic depicting a job interview. A woman with glasses and dark hair in a maroon blazer interviews a bald man in a suit. Panel 1, she asks, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Panel 2, he answers, "As a sort of complex tube that moves through the world, encountering nutrients which it uses to repair the tube for as long as it can until the tube falls apart." Panel 3, she asks, "And why do you want to work here?" He replies, "Better nutrients to sustain the tube. Improve the tube. Find woman-tube and breed more tubes." Panel 4, she says, "Wow, I really appreciate your honesty Mister Jansen," and he deadpans, "All is struggle and death." The joke: he answers ordinary interview questions with a bleakly literal, nihilistic biological description of being a living organism. Votey: a follow-up panel showing the interviewer saying, "I think we have a spot for you in human resources," while the bald man stares blankly.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.