like-2
Original: like-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (talking upward, to God): Dear God, do you even like us?
Panel 2:
God (offscreen voice in a purple speech bubble): How can you ask me that, baby?
Panel 3:
Man: If you really liked humans, why did you put us in bodies?
Panel 4:
God (offscreen): If someone you like comes to visit, do you put them in a hotel that's leaky, smells bad, that's cramped and lonely?
Panel 5:
God (offscreen, the man listening): How in the world are you complaining? Look at what your bodies get to do! You live a life of harmony, freedom, and non-stop sexual gratification ruled by an assertive yet loving matriarchy.
Panel 6:
Man: (listening, uncertain)
Panel 7:
Man, gesturing: ...
Panel 8:
God (offscreen): Oh shit, I thought you were a bonobo. Humans don't have souls.
Panel 9:
God (now shown as a silhouetted figure): Try reading history. It's obvious.
Votey:
Text (continuing God's list of which creatures got souls): It's only bonobos, dolphins, squid, puppies, octopodes, whales, bee hives, and fairly smart robots.
(Below: a scene of a person petting/interacting with a small robot, with motion lines.)
Man (talking upward, to God): Dear God, do you even like us?
Panel 2:
God (offscreen voice in a purple speech bubble): How can you ask me that, baby?
Panel 3:
Man: If you really liked humans, why did you put us in bodies?
Panel 4:
God (offscreen): If someone you like comes to visit, do you put them in a hotel that's leaky, smells bad, that's cramped and lonely?
Panel 5:
God (offscreen, the man listening): How in the world are you complaining? Look at what your bodies get to do! You live a life of harmony, freedom, and non-stop sexual gratification ruled by an assertive yet loving matriarchy.
Panel 6:
Man: (listening, uncertain)
Panel 7:
Man, gesturing: ...
Panel 8:
God (offscreen): Oh shit, I thought you were a bonobo. Humans don't have souls.
Panel 9:
God (now shown as a silhouetted figure): Try reading history. It's obvious.
Votey:
Text (continuing God's list of which creatures got souls): It's only bonobos, dolphins, squid, puppies, octopodes, whales, bee hives, and fairly smart robots.
(Below: a scene of a person petting/interacting with a small robot, with motion lines.)
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired man looks up and asks God, 'Dear God, do you even like us?' God replies in an offscreen purple speech bubble, 'How can you ask me that, baby?' The man asks why, if God liked humans, he put them in bodies. God answers that you wouldn't put a guest you like in a hotel that's leaky, smelly, cramped and lonely. God then insists humans should not complain because their bodies get 'a life of harmony, freedom, and non-stop sexual gratification ruled by an assertive yet loving matriarchy.' The man listens, confused, because that does not match human life at all. God suddenly realizes the mistake: 'Oh shit, I thought you were a bonobo. Humans don't have souls.' In the final panel God appears as a black silhouette and says, 'Try reading history. It's obvious.' The joke: God's glowing description fits bonobos, not humans, implying humans were never the soul-having favorites. Votey: God's offscreen voice lists the creatures that actually got souls — 'It's only bonobos, dolphins, squid, puppies, octopodes, whales, bee hives, and fairly smart robots' — drawn beside a small scene of a person reaching toward a friendly little robot, humorously confirming humans are not on the list.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.