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Original: bottom on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child: Mom, why do women have bigger bottoms than men?
Mother: To stop predators.
Panel 2:
Mother: When attacked, women shed their excess buttocks, increasing their speed while distracting predators.
Panel 3:
Mother: Later, they consume extra calories to regenerate their defense system.
(The child sits at a laptop.)
Panel 4:
Child: Why don't men have that?
Mother: Men are expendable. That's evolution.
Panel 5:
(Silhouettes of the child and mother.)
Child: It's been a while since you've had a predator attack, huh.
Mother: Boys are expendable too.
Votey:
Mother: I will sit on you, child. Sit on you until you die.
(A worried, sweating face.)
Child: Mom, why do women have bigger bottoms than men?
Mother: To stop predators.
Panel 2:
Mother: When attacked, women shed their excess buttocks, increasing their speed while distracting predators.
Panel 3:
Mother: Later, they consume extra calories to regenerate their defense system.
(The child sits at a laptop.)
Panel 4:
Child: Why don't men have that?
Mother: Men are expendable. That's evolution.
Panel 5:
(Silhouettes of the child and mother.)
Child: It's been a while since you've had a predator attack, huh.
Mother: Boys are expendable too.
Votey:
Mother: I will sit on you, child. Sit on you until you die.
(A worried, sweating face.)
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. A small child asks his mother, "Mom, why do women have bigger bottoms than men?" She answers deadpan, "To stop predators," then explains: "When attacked, women shed their excess buttocks, increasing their speed while distracting predators," and "Later, they consume extra calories to regenerate their defense system." The child, now at a laptop, asks, "Why don't men have that?" The mother replies, "Men are expendable. That's evolution." In the final panel, shown as silhouettes, the child notes, "It's been a while since you've had a predator attack, huh," and the mother retorts, "Boys are expendable too." Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of an anxious, sweating face as the mother threatens, "I will sit on you, child. Sit on you until you die."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.