coverage
Original: coverage on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A politician (a man in a suit) speaks into a microphone, his speech bubble a long unbroken run-on of political talking points interspersed with deliberate mouth sounds:
Politician: "...AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED UNIVERSAL HEALTH COVERAGE. COVERAGE. NEED TO COVER EVERYONE. EVVVVERYONE. COVERAGE COVERAGE. NOW I'M GONNA RUN MY CHIN OVER THE MICROPHONE FOR A WHILE. HERE WE GO. I JUST SHAVED BUT IT'S STILL A LITTLE BIT PRICKLY. PRICKLY PRICKLY PRICKLY. AND NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT BUILDING INFRASTRUCTURE. GOTTA BUILD SOME BRIDGES AND ROADS. BRIDGES AND ROADS. WE CAN RAISE FUNDS VIA A BOND SYSTEM. A NICE SYSTEM, TO FUND THE BRIDGES AND ROADS. BRRRRIDGES. BRRRRIDGES. I'M GONNA PUT ON SOME LIP BALM RIGHT NEXT TO THE MICROPHONE HERE NOW AND THEN IT'S IMMIGRATION POLICY. GOTTA HAVE A POLICY. PEOPLE NEED A POLICY. POLICY. POLICY."
Caption: "My attempt to lock up the ASMR community vote was a profound success."
Votey:
Extreme close-up of the politician's mouth, slightly open. (No text.)
A politician (a man in a suit) speaks into a microphone, his speech bubble a long unbroken run-on of political talking points interspersed with deliberate mouth sounds:
Politician: "...AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED UNIVERSAL HEALTH COVERAGE. COVERAGE. NEED TO COVER EVERYONE. EVVVVERYONE. COVERAGE COVERAGE. NOW I'M GONNA RUN MY CHIN OVER THE MICROPHONE FOR A WHILE. HERE WE GO. I JUST SHAVED BUT IT'S STILL A LITTLE BIT PRICKLY. PRICKLY PRICKLY PRICKLY. AND NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT BUILDING INFRASTRUCTURE. GOTTA BUILD SOME BRIDGES AND ROADS. BRIDGES AND ROADS. WE CAN RAISE FUNDS VIA A BOND SYSTEM. A NICE SYSTEM, TO FUND THE BRIDGES AND ROADS. BRRRRIDGES. BRRRRIDGES. I'M GONNA PUT ON SOME LIP BALM RIGHT NEXT TO THE MICROPHONE HERE NOW AND THEN IT'S IMMIGRATION POLICY. GOTTA HAVE A POLICY. PEOPLE NEED A POLICY. POLICY. POLICY."
Caption: "My attempt to lock up the ASMR community vote was a profound success."
Votey:
Extreme close-up of the politician's mouth, slightly open. (No text.)
Alt text
A politician in a suit leans in close to a large microphone, eyes closed, delivering a speech bubble that is one long run-on stream mixing policy talking points with deliberate soft, repetitive mouth sounds: '...AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED UNIVERSAL HEALTH COVERAGE. COVERAGE. NEED TO COVER EVERYONE. EVVVVERYONE... NOW I'M GONNA RUN MY CHIN OVER THE MICROPHONE FOR A WHILE... I JUST SHAVED BUT IT'S STILL A LITTLE BIT PRICKLY. PRICKLY PRICKLY PRICKLY... GOTTA BUILD SOME BRIDGES AND ROADS... BRRRRIDGES. BRRRRIDGES. I'M GONNA PUT ON SOME LIP BALM RIGHT NEXT TO THE MICROPHONE... POLICY. POLICY.' The caption reads: 'My attempt to lock up the ASMR community vote was a profound success.' The joke: he is giving an ASMR campaign speech, whispering trigger sounds (whispered repetition, chin-scratching, lip-balm application) into the mic instead of normal oratory. The votey is an extreme close-up of the politician's slightly-parted mouth, the kind of intimate ASMR-style framing that completes the gag.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.