premature
Original: premature on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A man with light-colored hair (looking nervous): I should tell you before we do this. I'm a premature ejaculator.
Panel 2:
A second man with darker hair (reassuringly): Oh, ha. Well, we can figure things out together.
Panel 3:
The darker-haired man (now puzzled): You don't understand. I'm so premature, I take a negative amount of time.
Panel 4:
The light-haired man (apologetic): But... I'm sorry. We already have two children and a starter home in the suburbs.
Panel 5:
The darker-haired man, screaming, with a small inset photo of two children and a house: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Votey:
A framed picture of a man's face, with the caption: WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?
A man with light-colored hair (looking nervous): I should tell you before we do this. I'm a premature ejaculator.
Panel 2:
A second man with darker hair (reassuringly): Oh, ha. Well, we can figure things out together.
Panel 3:
The darker-haired man (now puzzled): You don't understand. I'm so premature, I take a negative amount of time.
Panel 4:
The light-haired man (apologetic): But... I'm sorry. We already have two children and a starter home in the suburbs.
Panel 5:
The darker-haired man, screaming, with a small inset photo of two children and a house: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Votey:
A framed picture of a man's face, with the caption: WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Two men are about to have sex. The light-haired man warns, "I should tell you before we do this. I'm a premature ejaculator." The darker-haired man reassures him, "Oh, ha. Well, we can figure things out together." The first man clarifies, "You don't understand. I'm so premature, I take a negative amount of time" — meaning he finishes before they even start. He apologizes, "But... I'm sorry. We already have two children and a starter home in the suburbs," shown in a small inset photo of two kids and a house. The darker-haired man screams "NOOOOOOOO" in horror at having skipped straight past the entire relationship and family life. Votey (aftercomic): a framed portrait of a man's face captioned "WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.