evolved-2
Original: evolved-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Voice (off-panel, speaking up toward a green canopy): DEAR EVOLUTION, WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS?
Panel 2:
Green canopy / leaves (Evolution, speaking via speech bubbles in the foliage): BECAUSE NATURE IS FILLED WITH ENDLESS FORMS MOST BEAUTIFUL - LIKE WATER FLOWING DOWNHILL, FINDING EVERY PLACE TO POOL, SO LIFE TRICKLES TOWARD EVERY NICHE, MAKING USE OF EVERY WAY OF BEING.
Panel 3:
Green canopy (Evolution): THE DOLPHIN SWIMS FREE, THE ANT KNOWS THE LOVE OF A MILLION FELLOWS, AND YOU... HUH. SAYS HERE YOU BASH YOUR FACE INTO TREES ALL DAY SO YOU CAN EAT BUGS.
Panel 4:
Voice (off-panel): HOW'S THAT GOING?
A woodpecker (white bird with red crest and orange beak, looking annoyed): KISS MY ASS.
Votey:
Speech bubble (Evolution, from off-panel): FOCUS ON CLOACA.
The woodpecker is shown from behind/side, its rear toward the viewer.
Voice (off-panel, speaking up toward a green canopy): DEAR EVOLUTION, WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS?
Panel 2:
Green canopy / leaves (Evolution, speaking via speech bubbles in the foliage): BECAUSE NATURE IS FILLED WITH ENDLESS FORMS MOST BEAUTIFUL - LIKE WATER FLOWING DOWNHILL, FINDING EVERY PLACE TO POOL, SO LIFE TRICKLES TOWARD EVERY NICHE, MAKING USE OF EVERY WAY OF BEING.
Panel 3:
Green canopy (Evolution): THE DOLPHIN SWIMS FREE, THE ANT KNOWS THE LOVE OF A MILLION FELLOWS, AND YOU... HUH. SAYS HERE YOU BASH YOUR FACE INTO TREES ALL DAY SO YOU CAN EAT BUGS.
Panel 4:
Voice (off-panel): HOW'S THAT GOING?
A woodpecker (white bird with red crest and orange beak, looking annoyed): KISS MY ASS.
Votey:
Speech bubble (Evolution, from off-panel): FOCUS ON CLOACA.
The woodpecker is shown from behind/side, its rear toward the viewer.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. An unseen speaker calls up to a leafy green canopy: 'Dear Evolution, why are we like this?' The foliage answers in speech bubbles, waxing poetic: 'Because nature is filled with endless forms most beautiful - like water flowing downhill, finding every place to pool, so life trickles toward every niche, making use of every way of being. The dolphin swims free, the ant knows the love of a million fellows, and you...' Then it falters: 'Huh. Says here you bash your face into trees all day so you can eat bugs.' Final panel: a white woodpecker with a red crest, looking unimpressed, replies 'Kiss my ass' when asked 'How's that going?' In the votey afterimage, Evolution's bubble says 'Focus on cloaca,' and the woodpecker is drawn from behind presenting its rear to the viewer.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.