foraging
Original: foraging on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title panel: NATURE FORAGERS:
WHAT THEY MEAN
vs.
WHAT THEY SAY
Panel 1
Forager (says): "I would buy it if it were in a grocery store."
Forager (means): THESE ARE THE MOST AMAZING THING IN HISTORY!
Panel 2
Forager (says): "You will not immediately feel sadness if this is in your mouth."
Forager (means): IT'S EDIBLE!
Panel 3
Forager (says): "The only thing it has going for it is that it isn't poison."
Forager (means): YOU CAN MAKE TEA WITH IT!
Panel 4
Forager (says): "These won't kill you immediately, so long as you bake them at 4000 degrees then brine them for seven years."
Forager (means): NOW THESE YOU HAVE TO COOK JUST RIGHT.
Panel 5
Forager (says): "Literally any other food would be preferable, but if you're starving I guess maybe try this."
Forager (means): THIS WAS TRADITIONALLY EATEN DURING THE WINTER!
Votey:
THE ACTUAL PHRASE FOR THE VERY WORST THINGS IS "THIS WAS ONCE USED AS AN EMETIC."
WHAT THEY MEAN
vs.
WHAT THEY SAY
Panel 1
Forager (says): "I would buy it if it were in a grocery store."
Forager (means): THESE ARE THE MOST AMAZING THING IN HISTORY!
Panel 2
Forager (says): "You will not immediately feel sadness if this is in your mouth."
Forager (means): IT'S EDIBLE!
Panel 3
Forager (says): "The only thing it has going for it is that it isn't poison."
Forager (means): YOU CAN MAKE TEA WITH IT!
Panel 4
Forager (says): "These won't kill you immediately, so long as you bake them at 4000 degrees then brine them for seven years."
Forager (means): NOW THESE YOU HAVE TO COOK JUST RIGHT.
Panel 5
Forager (says): "Literally any other food would be preferable, but if you're starving I guess maybe try this."
Forager (means): THIS WAS TRADITIONALLY EATEN DURING THE WINTER!
Votey:
THE ACTUAL PHRASE FOR THE VERY WORST THINGS IS "THIS WAS ONCE USED AS AN EMETIC."
Alt text
A six-part SMBC comic titled "NATURE FORAGERS: WHAT THEY MEAN vs. WHAT THEY SAY," contrasting an enthusiastic nature forager's gushing claims (in speech bubbles) with the unimpressive reality (in caption boxes). Panel 1: Beside an apple tree, the forager raves "These are the most amazing thing in history!" while the caption reveals he really means "I would buy it if it were in a grocery store." Panel 2: A bearded forager holds up a plant and exclaims "It's edible!" meaning "You will not immediately feel sadness if this is in your mouth." Panel 3: A forager points at a bare branch saying "You can make tea with it!" meaning "The only thing it has going for it is that it isn't poison." Panel 4: A forager gestures to small fruits saying "Now these you have to cook just right," meaning "These won't kill you immediately, so long as you bake them at 4000 degrees then brine them for seven years." Panel 5: Foragers under a tree note "This was traditionally eaten during the winter!" meaning "Literally any other food would be preferable, but if you're starving I guess maybe try this." Votey (aftercomic): plain hand-drawn text in a box reads "The actual phrase for the very worst things is 'this was once used as an emetic.'"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.